Star Wars_ Fate of the Jedi 02_ Omen - Christie Golden [86]
And it was at that moment that Ben had wondered about his belief in the Force’s neutrality. The malevolence he had sensed had come from nothing alive. It was the imprint of the Sith who had been there for so long; the echoes of their presence, their energy, even though they had long since physically left the world.
He realized that it was the dark side. And although it had taken him a long time to process that revelation, he had.
“I used to think of it like a tool, a weapon,” he said. “A blaster isn’t inherently evil. It can shoot a friend to betray him or an enemy to save a life. I thought of the Force that way. As neither good or evil, just kind of—gray.”
Luke nodded. “I remember when I entered the cave on Dagobah. I sensed something wrong at once, even before I went in. It was so cold, so unsettling. I was—” He laughed slightly. “I was setting myself up for failure, is what I was doing. Yoda told me I wouldn’t need my weapons, but I took them anyway. He warned me that a Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never attack, but when the image of Vader approached—I activated my lightsaber first. That’s not what Jedi do. We protect and defend those who can’t defend themselves. So I failed my first test on the whole light side-dark side thing pretty miserably.”
Ben chuckled. “You know, it gives me hope that you screwed up so badly and so consistently as a kid, Dad.”
“Watch it, son.” Luke grinned.
“I—I think Jacen wanted it to be gray,” Ben said slowly, speaking as he worked things out in his head.
“What do you mean?”
Ben suspected that Luke knew exactly what he meant, but wanted to hear him say it. He continued. “Jacen wanted a safe galaxy. That’s something all right-thinking people want—a safe place to raise their kids, pursue their art or their passions. It’s not a bad ideal.”
“No, it’s not.”
“But—Jacen wanted it too badly. Badly enough to do really evil things to get it. Badly enough to become Sith in order to get the power to make it happen.”
“It’s the classic example of the end justifying the means,” Luke said quietly. “You want something—even something that everyone agrees is a good thing—too desperately. And so you start eliminating obstacles to your success. And then in order to keep going, you’ve got to harden yourself to doing more and more things that are at odds with your core beliefs of what is right and wrong. Make it so that your goal is so important, you have to lie or betray or kill for it.”
Luke paused. “I once asked Yoda if the dark side was stronger. He said no, but it was easier, more—”
“ … seductive,” said Ben in his smoothest Lando Calrissian impression as he waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
Luke laughed. “You know the story. But the lesson—which I failed miserably—was that you really do find only what you take with you. The dark side can’t corrupt you unless you let it, let it use the anger, hatred, and aggression you already have.”
“Or your wants,” Ben said quietly, the humor fading. “That’s what Jacen did.”
“For a Jedi, there is no place for a rainbow Force,” Luke said quietly. “There’s no room for compromise. We walk the path of the light side, or we fall to the darkness. There’s no gray area, Ben.”
Ben sighed. “It sounds like a nice idea, but … yeah. I saw what happened to Jacen, up close and personal. And I’ve felt the dark side on Ziost, just like you did on Dagobah. But Yoda was wrong about one thing.”
“Oh? What’s that?”
“It didn’t dominate Vader’s destiny. You pulled him back from the dark side, and when he died, he was one with the Force. And you pulled Mom back from it, too.”
Luke smiled gently. “And Leia pulled me back, when I got too close. I think you did the same thing for Tahiri, Ben. You didn’t just abandon her, even when she had done all the things she did to you.”
Ben struck a heroic pose as best he could in the flowform chair. “Jedi Skywalkers,” he said melodramatically.