Star Wars_ Fate of the Jedi 04_ Backlash - Aaron Allston [144]
She had respected and had a healthy fear of Lady Olaris Rhea. She had been devoted to her, as befit a proper Sith apprentice to her Master. But there had been no affection between them. Vestara did grieve for Ahri, although at one point, she had been willing to kill him herself if need be. Lady Rhea’s words came back to her: Want everything you wish—hunger, burn for it, if that fuels you. But never love anyone or anything so much that you cannot bear to lose it.
“They died well, at the hands of the Skywalkers,” was all she said to her father. “You have met them. You know that there is no dishonor in falling against them.”
“True,” said Gavar Khai, stepping beside her and squeezing her shoulder affectionately as he peered at the sketch. “But I would just as soon neither of us fell against them.”
Vestara grinned. “I agree.”
“My decision to come here was sound—I learned a great deal about them just from the little exposure I had a few moments ago. The journey before us will give us ample opportunity to learn more.”
Vestara examined the sketch critically. She added a few more notes. “I will continue to share with you everything I learn.”
“You might be able to learn even more … or perhaps insinuate yourself better with them.”
Finished, Vestara handed the sketch to her father and cleaned her hands at the sink. “I will do what I can, but I am a Sith, and their prisoner. What they have let me learn is only what they want me to know or the occasional accidental slip.”
Khai turned her around to face him, his hands on her shoulders. “I am willing to wager that the slips have not come from Master Luke Skywalker.”
There was something in the tone of his voice that made Vestara instantly alert. “No,” she said. “It is Ben who has told me the most.”
“You are attracted to the Skywalker boy.”
It was a statement, not a question, and Vestara’s stomach clenched. She wanted to deny it, but this was her father, who knew her better than anyone. Even without the use of the Force he would know if she lied to him about this.
“Yes, I am,” she said softly, not meeting his eyes. “He is appealing to me. I am sorry. I will do my best to—”
Khai tilted her chin up with a finger. “No, you will not.”
“I—” Vestara floundered. She had not felt this off guard since the first time she had killed, when she had been surprised at how hard it had been, how much blood there was, and how the sensation of the victim’s life slipping into the Force at such close range had unnerved her.
“This is something we can use,” Gavar Khai continued. “I certainly do not want you to fall in love with this Ben Skywalker. But if you do feel genuine affection or desire for him, do not be afraid to let him sense that. Especially if he can sense it in the Force, he’ll know it’s real, and that will take him off guard. He will begin to lower his own walls, tell you more, trust you more. You can use that.” His eyes brightened as a thought came to him. “You might even be able to turn him.”
“To the dark side?” A strange little jolt swept through Vestara at the thought. She recognized it as … hope. If Ben were to become Sith—then she wouldn’t have to worry about the growing feelings she was having for him. It wouldn’t matter. They would be on the same side—fighting together, killing together, advancing the Tribe agenda to rule the galaxy. Ben would, she was certain, become as powerful as his father one day. He might even become a Lord—or a High Lord. They—
Her father’s indulgent chuckle snapped her out of her reverie. “That would be my hope, as well. Ben Skywalker as a Sith would be a glorious achievement for our family, and you could enjoy him to the fullest. But if you fail to turn him, you must be prepared to be content with toying with him. At least until the time comes when he is no longer useful.”
Vestara nodded. “I understand, Father. You do not need to worry about me.”
He regarded her for a long moment. “I never had to