Star Wars_ I, Jedi - Michael A. Stackpole [81]
Unfortunately, a soaring spirit does little for a falling body. I hit the floor rather hard, landing solidly on my chest. I bounced back up a bit, with my toes hitting just before my knees. I tried to twist around and land on my left hip so I could keep my blade in the air and active, but all I really managed to do was start myself rolling, which resulted in my wrapping myself around a pillar. My lightsaber whirled out of my grasp and spun to a stop about ten meters away.
Its silvery glow illuminated the remotes closing in on me.
I sighed. “I have a bad feeling about this.”
The remotes did not shoot.
I rolled over and flopped on my back. In the distance, between my upraised knees, I could see Mara Jade on her side, dragging herself along in my direction. Sweat had pasted strands of her hair to her face and gave her skin an icy blue gleam in her reignited lightsaber’s backlight. The flesh around her eyes tightened as she moved her legs, but she gave no other indication that she felt any discomfort.
Kam’s voice echoed through the chamber. “That’s enough for now. You did pretty well.”
I laughed. “If that’s true, why do I feel so bad?”
“It’s because, Keiran, you didn’t do well enough.”
“Thanks for the clarification, Kam.” I dropped my knees and laid my head back down on the cold stone floor. I ran a hand through my goatee, brushing away the sweat that had collected in it, then felt the sting of sweat leaking into my eyes. I let my head loll to the left and smiled as Mara inched her way into view. “Hurt much?”
“A Jedi doesn’t know pain.”
“Right. Me, too.” I looked over at where my lightsaber still lay. I extended a hand in that direction and tried to call the blade to me, but all I got was a little twitching of the hilt. “These are the times I could really use better telekinesis skills.”
“You’re just being lazy. Just walk over and get it.”
“Okay. In a minute.”
Mara laughed lightly, then sighed. “Thanks for the save.”
“No problem. You’d do the same for me.”
Her voice drained of all lighter tones. “Would I?”
I had to think for a second. “You would. The universe you knew growing up may have changed, but your core values of duty and loyalty haven’t. Not that I think you’d ever feel yourself that beholden to someone else, but you’d extend that sort of courtesy to someone you see as a friend, right?”
Silence answered me.
I rolled myself up on my left flank and rested my head on my left hand. “We are friends, right?”
Her eyes narrowed, then her lightsaber went out again, sinking her into shadow. “I don’t know if I really know what it means to have a friend in the same sense you think of it. I do think I trust you.”
“I’ll take that.”
“Is that why you sacrificed your hand to protect my face, because you think of me as a friend?”
“In part, yes. A very big part.” I nibbled my lower lip for a moment, then continued. “I also did it because I knew I could and, therefore, it was my duty to do so. Even back when I entered CorSec, I knew there were things that I’d be called upon to do, dangerous things, that I would do because others could not. My role in society was to take action and responsibility for those who could not. I think, deep down, that’s the essence of being a Jedi. A Jedi places himself where he can defend the greatest number of people from the greatest evil.”
“Even if it costs him his life?”
I exhaled slowly. “You never want to think about that, but it’s part of the job. I remember a couple of times in my life, with Rogue Squadron and before, when I knew it was my duty to get a job done. I felt pretty certain I would die in those attempts and nearly did on Talasea. Fact was, though, that I had friends who would die if I didn’t do anything and somehow my life didn’t seem to matter all that much in the equation.”
Mara snorted. “The Emperor would have considered you a sentimental fool who deserved to die.”
“I’ll remember that next time I dance on his grave.” I levered myself up into a sitting position and crossed my legs beneath me. “There are just times the sacrifice