Star Wars_ Luke Skywalker and the Shadows of Mindor - Matthew Woodring Stover [87]
“Maybe not,” Han allowed through the beginning of a slow grin. “But I am pretty sure that if she wasn’t good-looking, you wouldn’t have hit her so hard.”
“Hope I broke her nose,” Leia muttered darkly, then suddenly answered his grin and added a little chuckle. “ ‘Fuse my bus-bars’? Really?”
Han shrugged, feeling himself start to blush. Again. “Just an expression I’m trying out. When I get too old to be dashing, I’ll have to be colorful.”
“You’re already colorful,” she said. “And you’ll always be dashing.”
“Aw, you take the fun out of everything.”
A burst of static from his comlink made them both jump. “Han! What the hell are you doing?”
Han fished out his comlink. “Lando? I’m standing in a cave, knucklehead. What the hell are you doing? Why are you even in this system?”
“Han, that was Hobbie you just clipped! He’s going down—again! Cease fire and get the hell out of my battle!”
“That was Hobbie I just what?”
“Han, if you don’t stand down, we’ll have to take you down!”
Han started to run, not going anywhere but he just had to move, shouting into the comlink. “Oh, no—oh, no no no, you don’t understand! That’s not us in there—”
“Great! Rogue Leader—light ’er up!”
“Don’t do it! Wedge, don’t! Don’t you dare shoot down my ship!”
“Don’t you mean my ship?” Lando said. “Should have known it wasn’t you—flies like a bantha in a tar pit—you fly more like a constipated nerf with a broken leg—”
“Lando, I’m serious—put one scratch on the Falcon and I’ll—”
“Never find it under all the dents,” Lando finished for him. “Wedge—see if you can take out just the thrusters.”
“Lando—Wedge—” Han grimaced in frustration and turned back to Leia, who had stopped a few meters behind him and now stood motionless, frowning in concentration. “Come on, Princess!”
She shook her head. “Something’s wrong here …”
“Oh, you think? Is it the lost-inside-a-volcano thing? Or the losing-the-Falcon-and-it’s-about-to-be-shot-down thing? Or maybe it’s the we’ve-just-managed-to-lead-all-our-friends-along-with-half-the-Alliance-into-a-giant-death-trap thing?”
“Not so much,” she said. “It’s more the we’ve-been-running-in-the-dark-through-a-cave-and-we-haven’t-fallen-down-a-hole thing.”
“What?”
“Artoo,” she called back along the tunnel, “do an environmental scan and analysis—I think these caves aren’t natural. Something made this—”
Han looked around and froze in place. “You mean,” he said slowly, “some kind of rock-looking critters that can, like, melt themselves out of the walls and floors and stuff?”
“I don’t know, maybe—” She stopped and looked back at Han, who was surrounded by rock-looking critters that appeared to have melted themselves out of the walls and floor.
“Good call,” Han said, and then the floor opened beneath him and he dropped out of sight.
“Han!” Leia sprang toward him, but the stone of the tunnel had gone soft and gooey, and an instant later it parted beneath her feet and she fell into darkness.
THE STORMTROOPER OFFICER WHO KNELT ON THE SHINING black stone of the cavern’s floor stammered out his unlikely story without even rising from one knee; Luke didn’t bother to listen. He barely heard anything after the group captain had started babbling about how powerful a masterpiece he’d found Luke Skywalker and the Jedi’s Revenge to be. Another blasted fan of that blasted show …
Who’d have thought so much damage could be done by one stupid story?
“This was the objective of his entire Great Cause!” the group captain exclaimed. “To rescue you from the evil Rebellion and restore you to your rightful throne!”
“Not exactly me,” Luke muttered.
“My lord Emperor?”
“Forget it.” Luke looked around at the dozens of prisoners prone on the cavern floor. “Who are these people?”
“No one of consequence, my lord—Rebel captives, bound for the slave pits. Don’t concern yourself.”
“Slave pits?” That was all he needed: more innocent lives that he would fail to save. “How many slaves do you have here?”
“Too many, my lord. Possibly several thousand. Even on starvation rations we can barely keep them fed. And the water situation