Star Wars_ MedStar 01_ Battle Surgeons - Michael Reaves [89]
But-he seemed to be hearing the voice of Klo Merit in his ear: Are they your customs?
Are they?
It didn’t take a Jedi to see that Tolk would shine out amid an entire planetful of women.
And he couldn’t deny that her offer of wartime comfort was tempting, very tempting.
But he couldn’t.
What are you afraid of?
"I’m afraid I’ll fall in love with her," he said aloud.
"I think it’s too late to fear that," a gentle voice be-hind him said.
Startled, Jos turned, expecting for an instant to see Tolk, to wonder if he should be delighted, angry, afraid, or something for which he likely had no name-But it wasn’t Tolk.
It was the Padawan, Barriss Offee.
33
Barriss had been initially surprised to encounter Jos this far from the base. After a moment, however, she re-alized there was nothing to be surprised about. She had been wanting to talk to him, to offer him some solace for the mental and emotional turmoil she knew he was going through. It was not just her desire as a friend; it was her duty as a Jedi.
And now, here he was.
The Force does work in mysterious ways, she thought.
He didn’t seem overly pleased to see her, but she could tell he wasn’t keen on anybody’s company right now. She reached out with the Force, found the tangled skein of his distress, stretched taut beneath his mind’s surface. He was wrestling with a very different problem than his feelings about clones, but no matter-he needed quietude, and that she could provide.
Flowing with the Force, very lightly, she touched the tight, knotted strings of his dilemma, quieting their thrumming as a finger passed over the strings of a que-tarra could subdue a chord.
He seemed surprised. He looked up, meeting her gaze with his own uncertain one.
Barriss smiled. "You are troubled, Jos," she murmured. "You are fighting your own internal war, on as many different fronts as the Republic is on Drongar. I can’t solve your crises, but I can guide you to a more se-cure place, from where you can deal with them."
"Why?" he asked. "I mean-what’s so special about me?"
Barriss smiled. "I could say I want to ensure your ability to perform well in the OT, and there is some-thing of that in my purpose. But mostly it’s because I’m a Jedi, and a healer as well. My purpose is to aid and comfort."
Jos was silent for a moment. Then he said, "What did you mean when you said it was too late to fear falling in love with Tolk?"
"Exactly what I said. It’s obvious you love her and she reciprocates. I would see it even without the Force’s aid. If you don’t believe me, ask any of your friends."
Jos lifted his arms in exasperation. "So everyone sees it but me?"
"One is usually blind when one is in the eye of the storm."
"But she’s ekster," he whispered. "My family would be devastated."
"Most likely true."
"I’d be giving up everything-my family, my friends, my practice... and for what?"
Barriss looked at him. "For love," she said.
Jos was silent for several long minutes, his eyes down-cast. Then he heaved a great sigh and looked at Barriss.
"I can’t," he said.
She nodded. She could sense his anguish, and that he spoke the truth. Perhaps it was the right decision. It was not her place to judge him, only to aid him.
"Choices of the heart are never easy," she said. She looked at the sky, saw that the sun was setting in a blaze of reds and oranges, its light reflecting off the spores in the upper atmosphere.
"It will be dark soon," she said. "Best we return to the base."
Jos glanced at his wrist chrono and nodded. "Yeah, I promised Zan I’d be back in-"
A light brighter than a dozen suns seared Barriss’s vi-sion. An instant later, a giant hand lifted her, then smashed