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She reached into her pocket and gripped the injector.

Think of all the lives you can save.

Yes. That was what she did, wasn’t it? That was her primary mission. She was a healer. She saved lives. Only this time, it would be on an enormously larger scale.

The storm drew close. Lightning flashed, thunder boomed, to join the sound of mortars exploding against the protective force-dome. It was true that Master Unduli or Master Yoda or Master Windu would be so much better suited to this task, but they weren’t here. Barriss was the only Jedi in a hundred cubic parsecs, as far as she knew.

The moment had come. She had to choose—now.

Take the bota and save them all, or—

Don’t take the bota, and know that countless beings— including some whom she had come to know as friends— would certainly die.

Barriss pulled the injector from her pocket. By now the environment had become virtually apocalyptic—the exploding mortars, thunder, and lightning were almost constant, and in addition lasers and particle beams were starting to strike the dome itself. One hit almost directly above her, and the resulting cascade of high-energy pulses along the dome’s outer aspect was nearly blinding. Supposedly the field kept out gamma rays, alpha particles, and other deadly radiation, but for how much longer? Already she could feel her skin tingling in the ionized air, could taste the residual ozone.

The choice was simple enough, wasn’t it? Why even hesitate? The gain here far outweighed the risks; the end more than justified the means. She had been to the heart of the Force already—how could it be wrong to go back now and seize it, use it for such a noble purpose? It would feel good, so good, it was right …

She cleared her left sleeve, held the injector in her right hand. She positioned it over the inside of her wrist. Another buzzing lance of energy—she couldn’t tell if it was a laser or a particle beam—hit, and more fireworks resulted. Barriss touched the popper to her skin. She put her thumb on the firing stud—

And, as she was about to trigger it, a memory rose within her, a memory of Oa Park on Coruscant, of a lesson she had learned there, one that she had already applied here on Drongar, when facing the deadly fighter Phow Ji.

The memory of a conversation between her and her teacher about the dark side:

There may come a time when you experience this, Barriss. I hope not, but if ever it happens, you must recognize and resist it.

It will feel evil?

Oh, no. It will feel better than anything you have ever experienced, better than you would have thought anything could feel. It will feel empowering, fulfilling, satisfying. Worst of all, it will feel right. And therein lies the real danger.

Barriss Offee stood under stormy and violent skies, only the slightest pressure of her finger away from rejoining the Force in a way that had been more wonderful than anything she had ever felt, or had ever imagined anything could feel.

And in that moment—a heartbeat, an eon—she understood what her teacher had been trying to tell her that day in the park. To give in to the dark side was the path to ruination, to corruption worse even than death. Dead, you could not harm anyone. But alive, and with the dark side driving you, you could become a monster.

She remembered as well something she had told Uli a couple of weeks ago:

Those who embrace the dark side don’t see themselves as evil. They believe that they are doing the right thing for the right reasons. The dark side warps their thinking, and they come to believe that the end justifies the means, no matter how awful those means might be.

Had her previous experience truly been of the dark side? No, she decided. As she had also told Uli, the Force did not choose sides. But to wield that kind of power, no matter how noble the intent, would almost certainly lead to ruination—if not today, then tomorrow, or the day after. Each time, the temptation to use it would become more compelling, the reasons for doing so more justifiable. She could feel the truth of that to her core.