Star Wars_ Planet of Twilight - Barbara Hambly [113]
“I want them to be happy,” she said, and leaned her cheek on the wind-scoured metal of the beam. “I want them to be children, to have the birthright of their innocence. But at the same time, I know they can’t just follow any path they want. With their powers in the Force, I have to teach them to distinguish lies from truth, to seek justice the way my father … the way Bail Organa sought justice. I have to … to protect the next generation from them. The way I have to protect the present generation from myself.”
Looking down at the woman still seated against the parapet, she saw in the lost Jedi’s starlit eyes the understanding of what she meant. Of the darker fear that lay wrapped in the images of the dream.
“To protect this generation from yourself,” said Callista gently, “you have to embrace the way of the Jedi, Leia. Not flee it. Luke is right.”
She stood, unfolding herself to her lanky height, her crimson clothing almost black in the star glimmer and the pallid glow reflected from the shining stones. Nights on Nam Chorios, without benefit of warming oceans, were unbelievably cold, even in this summer season. Leia huddled her gloved hands in her armpits and wondered how the Therans managed, night after night, under the open stars.
“There’s a woman in Hweg Shul named Taselda, a small-time Jedi adept who came to this planet centuries ago, seeking power. The way I came.”
“Beldorion spoke of her,” said Leia. “Was he her partner?”
“They came here together. After this long, telling lies to themselves, to each other, to everyone, I’m not sure exactly what took place. They were both adepts, but neither had much power. Only one of them had sufficient training to make a lightsaber, but I don’t know which. I don’t think either of them has the capacity for it now. Like me, they came here seeking an easy answer.”
“I didn’t think Hutts could be born strong in the Force.”
“Don’t underestimate the Force, Leia,” said Callista. “Anyone—anything—can be born in its light. There’s a tree on the planet Dagobah that’s strong in it. Sea slugs in the oceans of Calamari use it to draw plankton into their mouths until they grow to be bigger than starfighters. But they haven’t the sentient mind to learn to use it beyond that. And that is for the best.”
She sighed.
Suddenly sure of it, Leia said, “You were the slave Liegeus spoke of, weren’t you? The one Beldorion sold or traded to Dzym.”
Callista stood so silent for so long that Leia feared she’d angered her, but in time she nodded. “Having been Taselda’s slave before,” she said. “I let myself be enslaved, because I was so hungry, so desperate. She used me, as Beldorion would have used me, had I been any good to him. As he’d have used you.”
Leia nodded again. The pain in Callista’s face was frightening to see, and she felt anger stir in her again, this time not anger at Ashgad specifically, but at them all: Beldorion, the Rationalists, Moff Getelles, all those who grabbed for petty goals and broke and ruined lives in the process, not seeing anything beyond their own wants. But it was sour anger, like brittle ice above a still well of endless grief.
“As long as I can be manipulated like that,” Callista went on, “as long as I can be used—as long as I lack my own power in the Force—I am a prime candidate for the dark side. I’m standing in its shadow now. If there is a way for me at all, I have to follow it alone. I will love Luke until the day I die and beyond, but I will not pull him into that shadow with me. Please, Leia. Make him understand.”
“What do we have?” Han Solo strode into the bridge still stripping off the helmet and gloves of his e-suit, registered immediately the blinking red lights over the comm board, the worried note in Chewbacca’s growl that had summoned him and Lando back onto the ship in double-time. Outside, terrible stillness lay