Star Wars_ The New Jedi Order_ Dark Tide 01_ Onslaught - Michael A. Stackpole [19]
With anguish on his face, Jacen looked at his uncle. “I’m not sure being a Jedi Knight is my calling in life. I’d really prefer it if you gave me no assignment at all.”
Luke shifted his shoulders involuntarily as a twitch shot up his spine. “Wow, I’d not expected that.”
Jacen glanced at the floor. “I’m sorry I disappointed you.”
“No, it’s not that.” Luke frowned. “I was going to tell you that what you wanted didn’t matter right now because I need you. And as I was getting ready to say that, I heard Uncle Owen telling me the same thing, right before he died.”
Jacen’s head came up. “Then you understand?”
“Oh, very well.”
“Then you’ll let me seek the answers I need?”
“No.” Luke held his hands up quickly. “I mean, yes, you’ll be able to seek for your answers, but not as a replacement for an assignment. You have to remember that absolutely key to the Jedi philosophy is a respect for all life. For you to go off now means you’d be putting your life ahead of that of others, and that’s not good.”
“But, Uncle Luke, you’ve always put yourself last. You—and Mom and Dad and everyone else—are always being pulled every which way.” He balled his fists and pounded them against his hips. “You don’t have the time to figure out what it is you need to do to develop yourself further in the Force. You’re always distracted.”
Corran scratched at his throat. “You’ve got a point there, Jacen, but you’re assuming that only by going off like a hermit to contemplate the Force and your integration with it are you going to be able to get anywhere. That’s just not true.”
“How do you know, Corran?” Jacen crossed his arms over his chest. “None of the Jedi alive today have had that chance. For all we know, Yoda spent the first three centuries of his life as a hermit. Maybe that’s what we need to do.”
“Or, maybe, Jacen, that’s just one path to get where you want to go.” Corran pointed a finger at Luke. “Your uncle and I differed over paths to becoming a Jedi Knight, but we’re both here. And, sure, there might be distractions out there, but there are lessons learned from doing things and succeeding or failing that aren’t easy to learn from tranquil consideration. You’re right, having time to consider them and their consequences is useful, but I find it hard to concentrate on introspection when folks out there are in trouble.”
Luke nodded in agreement. “Corran’s point is well taken, Jacen. I do understand what you are saying, and I promise you that if you decide that your path is one of introspection, I won’t stand in your way.”
The youth’s eyes narrowed with suspicion. “There’s a catch.”
“There is. I really do need you. I’ve saved the most dangerous mission in all this for myself, and I want you with me. Because you’ve dealt with the Yuuzhan Vong before, you have the experience I need. We’re taking Artoo and going back to Belkadan, to see what that Yuuzhan Vong agent was trying to create there. This is a very important mission, and I really do need you with me.”
Corran snorted. “Great, I guess that leaves the aforementioned embarrassing mission for me.”
Jacen glanced at him. “Trade you.”
“No, you won’t.” Luke reached down and clutched the edge of the table. “You wouldn’t like the assignment I’m giving him, and given what you’ve told me, you’re really not suited to it. The Belkadan mission, however, is one you’re perfect for.”
Jacen’s face closed for a second, then he nodded, but stiffly. “I’ll go along with you for now, but I have such mixed feelings. I’m afraid I’ll be no help to anyone.”
“Fair enough.”
The youth bowed his head. “If you will permit me, Uncle Luke, I’ll leave you two to discuss Corran’s mission.”
“No, wait, listen to what you almost asked to do.”
Corran rolled his eyes. “This is going to be worse than I thought.”
Luke laughed. “Okay, so yours is the second most dangerous mission. Out on the Rim there’s a system designated MZX33291 by Imperial surveyors. It has