Star Wars_ The New Jedi Order_ Dark Tide 02_ Ruin - Michael A. Stackpole [43]
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“Lieutenant Solo reporting as ordered, Colonel.” Jaina Solo stood stiffly just outside the open hatchway to Colonel Darklighter’s cabin aboard Ralroost. She had no idea why he had sent Emtrey, the unit’s M-3PO military protocol droid, to fetch her, but she was glad to get a chance to speak with him. The whole incident with her brother the week previous had left her stomach churning. When I thought he was dead . . .
“Come in, Jaina, please, be seated.” Gavin Darklighter nodded her toward the bunk against the wall. He sat at a small table bolted to the cabin’s opposite wall. On it he had a datapad, several data cards, and a small holocube displaying alternating images of his family. With just that holocube he’d managed to drain the small cabin of its sterility, despite the white walls and gray decking.
As she sat, he turned in his chair to face her. Though he was still a young man, gray had crept into his hair at the temples, and little lines traced back from the corners of his eyes. He’d assumed command of Rogue Squadron right after the peace with the Remnant, but the dozen and a half years he’d put in with it before then had been what marked him. To Jaina he was one of a handful of legends who had survived and even thrived within Rogue Squadron.
“Jaina, I should have spoken to you about this before now. What happened at Garqi was unfortunate. It was also necessary. Operational security demanded we let no one in-system at the time know that the Lost Hope was meant to go down in flames.”
Jaina nodded. “I’ve been told that only Admiral Kre’fey and the techs who had prepared the ship—as well as the task force—knew what was going to happen. I know you didn’t know, so you couldn’t warn me.”
“Yes, I have been informed of how kind you’ve been in supposing what I would have done had I known what was going to happen. The fact is, however, I would not have told you.” His looked straight at her, and she shivered. “The decision to keep that information secret came from above me, and I would have respected the security demands that would have kept me silent. And while I know you would have not let out any hint of what was happening, the judgment about whether or not to take that chance, again, was not one I would have made.”
Jaina gripped the edge of the bunk to keep herself upright. She felt betrayed by his words, in great part because she had credited him with far more kindness than he was saying he possessed. She had trusted in him, and here he was saying he was not worthy of that trust. And while his voice rang with sincerity, he was plainly suggesting he would have remained silent no matter who or what was involved.
Her anger over that latter point surprised her. Jaina would not have thought she was deserving of special treatment, but her anger clearly indicated that some part of her did. After all, she was a Jedi, as was her brother, and that should have counted for something. The affairs of Jedi were being meddled with, and that wasn’t right. Moreover, after all her family had done for the New Republic, shouldn’t it have at least taken steps to stop her from being hurt? Didn’t the New Republic owe her at least that much?
She quickly caught her outrage and broke it down. The umbrage at having Jedi affairs compromised, she realized, bordered very closely on the arrogant attitude that Kyp and his followers embraced. Jedi have abilities others do not, but this does not make us any better than anyone else; and for the purposes of my time with Rogue Squadron, I am a pilot first, not a Jedi.
That thought led her to explore the idea that the New Republic owed her anything. My parents might have a debt that needs to be paid off, but it’s not mine. The only way the New Republic will owe me anything is if I earn something from it. So far, in comparison to what my parents have done, I have done nothing.
Colonel Darklighter leaned forward, his elbows on