Star Wars_ The New Jedi Order_ Dark Tide 02_ Ruin - Michael A. Stackpole [88]
“You will journey to the surface if needs be. We wish, then, to prepare you, so you will accept the world as your mother, and the world will accept you as its children.” The high priest’s eyes blinked slowly. “In order to do this you need to become other than yourself. No one is allowed on the surface; those who are allowed are not themselves.”
Jacen frowned for a second, but caught a glimpse of Corran nodding to himself, so he assumed the mystery was not impenetrable. He recalled some of his early training in which he was required to open himself to the Force, to let go of himself so the Force could fill him. To become one with the Force, I had to become more than I had been before, but that meant casting off the image of who I thought I was.
“Each pilgrim, in making the journey to the Mother Jungle, wishes to become closer to the jungle. To facilitate change and growth, the pilgrim looks at pruning aspects of herself that keep her from being one with the world below. So it shall be with you. You must think upon that part of yourself that closes you in, and that is the part of yourself you need to modify. You will share those things.”
“Out loud?” Wurth Skidder, over next to Kyp Durron, shook his head. “This is a waste of time. We should be getting ready to fight the Vong.”
Luke frowned. “This is more important than that, Wurth.”
The Ithorian high priest pressed his hands together. “If you feel we are wasting your time, you may be excused.”
“What?!” Wurth folded his arms across his chest. “We’re here to save your world.”
“You need to save yourself first, Jedi.” The Ithorian spoke quietly from both sides of his mouth. “Until you wish to be saved, the Mother Jungle can do you no good.”
“I don’t under—”
Kyp laid his left hand against Wurth’s folded arms. “The confusion is ours. We understand, Relal Tawron, and will respect your customs.”
The Ithorian nodded assent, then spread his hands again. “The public declaration is meant to enlist everyone in aiding the pilgrim in making the transition toward unity with the jungle. In sharing the burden we, as diverse a community as the plants and creatures that make up the Mother Jungle, function together in a complex ecosystem. It is only through functioning together that we can succeed.”
Luke Skywalker turned toward the Ithorian. “If it would be permitted, I would like to go first.”
“We would be honored, Master Skywalker.”
“I renounce responsibility.” Luke’s eyes narrowed, and Jacen could feel shock rise from some of the other Jedi. “For a long time, I’ve felt weighed down by being sole heir to a Jedi tradition. I’ve cheated you. You’re all my coheirs. I know you’ll accept shares of the responsibility I’ve carried around with me. I have every confidence in you.”
A chill ran down Jacen’s spine. He’d never had any doubt that his uncle trusted him, but their relationship was more than student and Master. A lot of the trust bled over from the family ties. For the first time he caught a sense of what it might have been like to be Ganner or Corran or Daeshara’cor. Luke’s renunciation was a gift to them all, one that bound them together and tied them to the jungle.
The other Jedi began to make their own declarations. They came in no particular order, but were voiced as each person felt his time had come. Jacen listened to them, less trying to understand their words than marveling in the sense of peace their declarations seemed to kindle in them. He desperately sought that aspect of himself that locked him away from such peace, so he could feel inside how they felt.
Anakin surprised him by stepping forward fairly quickly. His little brother’s shoulders straightened, and his voice did not waver. “I give up self-assuredness. I want so much to be right, to do the right thing, that I don’t look to see if another answer would