Star Wars_ The Old Republic_ Revan - Drew Karpyshyn [28]
“Guess I just need your great wisdom to help me understand what I’m missing.”
“What makes you think I would do anything to help you?”
“I’m still a Jedi, and Meetra’s sentence is a matter of record,” he reminded her, suddenly serious. “I have a right to know the truth of what happened. All of it.”
“What more is there to tell? She made the mistake of following you. You led her down the path to the dark side. She committed an unforgivable act, and for this the Council banished her.”
“It was a desperate act during a desperate time,” Revan said. “And the mass-shadow generator was an experimental prototype. How could the Council be sure Meetra even knew what would happen? What if it was all a mistake? A terrible accident?”
“The mass-shadow generator was a weapon of war,” Atris replied with a cool, rational calm. “Its sole purpose was death and destruction, and she gave the order to activate it. How is that an accident?”
“But she obviously regretted her actions, and she surrendered voluntarily to the Council. Why wouldn’t they show her mercy?”
“They needed to make an example of her.” Atris made no effort to hide the bitterness in her voice. “She became a symbol for all those who had defied the will of the Council. Mercy was not an option.”
“It can’t be that simple,” Revan pressed. “My crimes were far worse, yet the Council gave me a second chance.”
“You could still be of use to us.”
Revan sensed there was something she wasn’t saying. “What does that mean? Meetra was a powerful Jedi. Why didn’t the Council try to redeem her?”
The archivist shook her head in disbelief. “You really have no idea what you did to her, do you?”
“No, I don’t,” Revan snapped, allowing his frustration to bubble over. “My memory has more holes in it than a Kaminoan sponge. So why don’t you just tell me?”
Atris bit her lower lip and glared at him. Then, perhaps realizing that answering his questions was the quickest way to get him to leave, she began to speak.
“Meetra was much closer to the mass-shadow generator than you were. She felt the shock wave; it nearly killed her. Left her vulnerable. At the same time, she felt the deaths of the Mandalorians and her fellow soldiers through the Force. It was all too much to bear in her weakened state. It would have killed her.” She paused for emphasis, before continuing. “Instinctively, she protected herself the only way she knew how. She cut herself off from the Force … permanently.”
“I’m sorry,” Revan said sincerely. “I had no idea.”
“Really?” Atris replied angrily. “Then why did you and Malak leave her behind when you went into the Unknown Regions? You realized she was of no further use to you, and you abandoned her. That’s why she came back to the Order to face judgment.”
“I didn’t see that in your report. Is that fact, or just speculation?”
Her refusal to speak was reply enough.
“Even if what you say is true,” Revan continued, “I’m not the same man anymore. Is it right to still hold me accountable for those crimes?”
“A chalarax can’t change its spots,” she muttered under her breath.
Revan was too busy trying to process all he had learned to react to her comment. If Meetra was cut off from the Force, that would explain why he hadn’t been able to sense her presence. That meant she could still be alive somewhere; she might still know something that could help him understand the meaning of his vision.
“Do you know where she went?” he asked. “I need to speak with her.”
“Haven’t you done enough already?” Atris demanded. “It’s your fault she defied the Council and betrayed the Order. It’s your fault she fell to the dark side and was branded the Exile. It’s your fault she cut herself off from the Force. For a Jedi, that’s a fate worse than death!”
“I’ve come closer to death than most,” Revan countered, “and I can assure you that’s not true.”
Atris snorted in contempt. “That is the difference between us. I live for the Force. You live for yourself.”
Revan shrugged, knowing a philosophical argument wasn’t going