Star Wars_ The Old Republic_ Revan - Drew Karpyshyn [79]
There is no emotion, there is peace, she thought. The familiar words of the Jedi mantra were easy to recite, but much more difficult to follow.
“You said we needed to speak,” Bastila said.
“I wasn’t sure if we should come,” Meetra admitted. “I understand this might be difficult for you. But Tee-Three insisted.” She reached out and patted the little astromech accompanying her on the head.
The last time Bastila had seen T3-M4 he had been boarding the Ebon Hawk with Revan and Canderous. Her husband was still missing, but the droid had returned. Clearly he had latched on to Meetra, following at her heel as he had once followed Revan … one more small detail to feed Bastila’s irrational jealousy.
“As much as I tried, I couldn’t get him to tell me anything,” Meetra added.
Bastila smiled faintly. “I gave him special instructions the night before he left with Revan. I told Tee-Three if they ever became separated, he had to come find me. I programmed him so he wouldn’t tell anyone else what had happened until I heard it first.”
Meetra nodded. “A wise move. We’ve both experienced enough betrayal to understand you never know whom to trust.”
“I never imagined I’d be in hiding when he returned,” Bastila continued. “I’m sorry about that, Tee-Three. If I’d known you were back, I would have tried to contact you.”
The droid beeped in acceptance of her apology.
“Fortunately he found me,” Meetra said. “I guess he thought I was the next best thing, given my history with Revan.”
Bastila bit her lip to keep from saying anything. She knew her feelings of resentment were neither justified nor fair, but even her Jedi training couldn’t quell her emotions.
“Or maybe he just knew I’d need his help,” Meetra added quickly, perhaps aware she had in some way offended her host.
“The little guy does have a knack for joining up with galactic saviors,” Bastila remarked, trying to keep her voice neutral.
The droid beeped in agitation.
“I’m sorry,” Bastila said again. “You’re right. You’ve been very patient so far. I’m just not sure I’m ready to hear what you have to tell me.”
She’d often wondered if Revan was still alive. She’d always imagined their love would let her sense him through the Force, even across the breadth of an entire galaxy. Once he left, she learned that wasn’t true. Some nights she would dream of him, but she was never sure if these were true visions or merely manifestations of the loneliness she’d felt since he’d gone.
Still, she believed she would have sensed a disturbance in the Force if he had died. Clinging to that gave her hope. Now, however, her belief might be exposed as a mere illusion if T3 told her that Revan was dead. She wanted to hear the truth, of course, but she was determined to hang on to the fantasy for just a few seconds longer.
“Take your time,” Meetra said. “I know this is difficult. Tee-Three’s waited three years for this; he can wait a little while longer.”
Her words were meant as comfort, but they had the opposite effect. “Maybe this would be easier if Tee-Three and I spoke in private,” Bastila said.
It was clear the request had caught Meetra off guard, but she quickly regained her composure. “I understand you want to be cautious,” she said sympathetically, “but Canderous told me all about Revan and his search for the storm-covered world.”
Bastila grimaced. She’d heard rumors that a Mandalorian had aided the Exile in her battle against Darth Traya.
“Is it true?” Bastila asked. “Is Canderous the new Mandalore?”
Meetra nodded. “Revan helped him find Mandalore’s Mask before continuing on alone.”
“What else do you know that I don’t?” Bastila asked, trying to keep the bitterness out of her voice.
“I would never intentionally keep any knowledge