Star Wars_ Young Jedi Knights 06_ Jedi Under Siege - Kevin J. Anderson [42]
No. Not the only man who had believed in Zekk. A fresh wave of anguish washed over Zekk at the thought. Old Peckhum had always believed in him, too. Zekk had promised never to do anything to hurt or disappoint the old spacer. Today, though, he had fought on the side of Peckhum's enemies.
Despite all the faults that Zekk acknowledged he had, he had never in his life lied to old Peckhum.
Anger jolted through him-at himself, at having been forced to fight his friend, at having been forced to make such terrible choices. His muscles tightened until the tension inside seemed unbearable. With a cry of anguish he plunged his fingers deep into the mud. It was dark, slippery, treacherous. Yet this was what he had chosen: the darkness.
Today he had stood and watched as his comrades blasted the Lightning Rod out of the skies. For all he knew, the only other man who had ever believed in him might also now be dead. Zekk's hands clenched in the ooze and he jerked up fistfuls of mud and smeared it on his face. The mud stung his cut. Now he could feel pain again. But he didn't care. He deserved it.
He had failed them all-Brakiss, the other Dark Jedi warriors, old Peckhum... himself. Silent tears dropped unheeded from his eyes as he scooped up more and mud and rubbed it into his hands, his forearms, his neck. Dark mud.
This-this was what he had become.
Darkness. He had chosen it, immersed himself in it. He was stained with it.
There could be no turning back for Zekk anymore. He had made his choices, and he was what he was: a Dark Jedi. That could not change now. Though his comrades were defeated or captured, and Brakiss dead, Zekk would never be able to cleanse himself for as long as he lived-however long that might be.
Not even Jaina and Jacen, if they were still alive, would be able to forgive him.
Considering the space battles above, the destruction of the Shadow Academy, the attacks here on the ground, Zekk himself was responsible for a hundred or more deaths today. Maybe even Peckhum's. The twins would know that. They had never believed Zekk's decision to join the Shadow Academy was the right one, had never believed that he could become anything.
But he had made his choice and he had done his best. He had even warned Jaina on Kashyyyk not to return to Yavin 4, hoping to keep her away from the fighting, though he doubted she had listened.
He pushed himself to his feet and caught sight of his reflection again in the slow moving water. His once-beautiful cape hung in tatters from his shoulders, its scarlet lining shredded. Mud covered his skin. And the sunken emerald eyes were now bleak and hopeless.
But he wasn't finished yet. It might not matter anymore what happened to him, but he still had choices. He would show the twins what he was made of. Turning, he headed along the riverbank toward the Great Temple.
Zekk still had one card left to play.
"DOWN THERE," JAINA said, pointing at the jungle clearing that Luke had chosen as a rendezvous point.
From the pilot's seat of his personal shuttle, Lando Calrissian grinned, flashing his beautiful white teeth. "Sure thing, little lady," he said.
"I'll take'er down. Looks like they're waiting for us. The fighting must be done." As Lando brought the ship in for a landing, Jaina used Jedi techniques to relax, but it did her no good. Her muscles remained as tense as if she were still in the tiny TIE fighter flying for her life.
For some reason, she just couldn't loosen up. For the first time, today, she had fought as a Jedi, with other Jedi, against the dark side.
It was what all her training had been about.
When Lando's shuttle touched down, Jaina wasted no time on formalities.
She scrambled out of the ship as quickly as she could, ran to her uncle, and threw herself into his arms.
"You made it. You're alive!" she said, feeling