Steelhands - Jaida Jones [101]
“There are laws against that sort of thing, I should hope,” Toverre said, looking scandalized.
“Bet there aren’t any rules if they say it’s for your own good,” I replied, slicing off another piece of cheese and cramming it into my mouth. “I’m just a girl, after all. Nothing more than a simple ’Versity student, too. How’m I supposed to know how to take care of myself? Better I let these fine Thremedon physicians do it for me. Who’s anyone going to believe, them or me?”
Toverre bit his lip, looking uncertain of how to answer me. I took advantage of his silence, ripping open a roll and filling it with sliced meat. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until the food was in front of me. And Toverre didn’t even have anything to say about my manners, which meant he must’ve been troubled indeed.
“I’ll go with you, then,” he said at last, though I knew just how he felt about being stuck in a physician’s room. It was almost sweet of him to offer, even sweeter still for him to think he was capable of helping me. “I am your fiancé, after all. Surely there are some rights I might take advantage of. Perhaps I’ll pretend that I’m too simple to understand the particulars of a checkup—I’ll assume that your honor is being violated and insist that I must be allowed to accompany you. Otherwise, I’ll have to write home about this, no matter what you say. Doesn’t that sound intimidating?”
It did, but probably not for the same reasons he was imagining.
As much as I appreciated Toverre’s offer of self-sacrifice—and I did; it was enough to sweeten my sour-pickled heart—I was pretty sure that the only thing worse than being in there by myself would be if Toverre came along.
I could just picture him stopping Margrave Germaine before every step of the procedure, wanting to know if everything’d been sterilized, and if the sterilization’d been done properly, and who’d done it, and could he speak with them, too? They’d remove him by the scruff of the neck like an unwanted kitten, and in the end I’d be grateful, preferring the fever dreams to this new nightmare.
“I’ll think about it,” I told him around a mouthful of the sandwich I’d made.
“Think about it?” Toverre repeated, like I’d decided to take a vacation from my senses.
“It’s my appointment, ain’t it?” I asked, folding up the rest of my cheese in a napkin for later. I always got peckish around midnight, especially when I was studying. “It’s not for another few days. I’ve got time; I’ll think of something.”
“You’re not really considering going by yourself, are you?” Toverre asked. “Not when we still don’t know what happened to Gaeth?”
“He went home,” I told him, hoping that by saying it, I could convince myself.
“A very likely story,” Toverre replied. “Not without all his things, he didn’t. I don’t think our friend Gaeth was all that well-off, Laure. You could tell by his handwriting he had no kind of education. And the state of that winter coat …! He wouldn’t leave all his clothes and his best pair of boots behind.”
He was right. Just thinking about that empty room made chills run up and down my spine.
“How about this: I won’t do anything without running it by you first,” I offered. It wasn’t exactly the bargain Toverre’d been looking for, but at least it was the truth. “I’ll start right now: I’m going for a walk to eat some cheese and clear my head.”
“We do have exams to study for,” Toverre cautioned, staying planted in his seat while I stood up. There were crumbs in my skirts, and I shook them out onto the floor, Toverre quickly pulling his boots away so that nothing would get on them.
“I’m horseshit on tests whether I study or not,” I said. We both knew it, so there was no point in being polite about it. “And I’ve got other things to worry about.”
“I could always make you up some quick-cards,