Stepping Heavenward [42]
and pray for patience.
Katy.-One can't be always praying. I don't feel like it.
SCENE FOURTH.
Katy.-You treat Dr. Elliott shamefully. I should think he would really avoid you as you avoid him.
Kate-Don't let me hear his name. I don't avoid him.
Katy.-You do not deserve his good opinion.
Kate.-Yes, I do.
SCENE FIFTH
Just awake in the morning.
Katy.-Oh, dear! how hateful I am! I am cross and selfish, and domineering, and vain. I think of myself the whole time; I behave like a heroine when Dr. Elliott is present, and like a naughty, spoiled child when he is not. Poor mother! how can she endure me? As to my piety, it is worse than none.
Kate, a few hours later.-Well, nobody can deny that I have a real gift in managing children! And I am very lovable, or mother wouldn't be so fond of me. I am always pleasant unless I am sick, or worried, and my temper is not half so hasty as it used to be. I never think of myself, but am all the time doing something for others. As to Dr. E., I am thankful to say that I have never stooped to attract him by putting on airs and graces. He sees me just as I am. And I am very devout. I love to read good books and to be with good people. I pray a great deal. The bare thought of doing wrong makes me shudder. Mother is proud of me, and I don't wonder. Very few girls would have behaved as I did when Emma was burned. Perhaps I am not as sweet as some people. I am glad of it. I hate sweet people. I have great strength of character, which is much better, and am certainly very high-toned.
But, my poor journal, you can't stand any more such stuff, can you? But tell me one thing, am I Katy or am I Kate?
Chapter 10
X
APRIL 20.
YESTERDAY I felt better than I have done since the accident. I ran about the house quite cheerily, for me. I wanted to see mother for something, and flew singing into the parlor, where I had left her shortly before. But she was not there, and Dr. Elliott was. I started back, and was about to leave the room, but he detained me.
"Come in, I beg of you," he said, his voice grow mg hoarser and hoarser. "Let us put a stop to this."
"To what?" I asked, going nearer and nearer, and looking up into his face, which was quite pale.
"To your evident terror of being alone with me, of hearing me speak. Let me assure you, once for all, that nothing would tempt me to annoy you by urging myself upon you, as you seem to fear I may be tempted to do. I cannot force you to love me, nor would I if I could. If you ever want a friend you will find one in me. But do not think of me as your lover, or treat me as if I were always lying in wait for a chance to remind you of it. That I shall never do, never."
"Oh, no, of course not!" I broke forth, my face all in a glow, and tears of mortification raining down my cheeks. "I knew you did not care for me I! knew you had got over it!"
I don't know which of us began it, I don't think he did, and I am sure I did not, but the next moment I was folded all up in his great long arms, and a new life had begun!
Mother opened the door not long after, and seeing what was going on, trotted away on her dear feet as fast as she could.
APRIL 21.-I am too happy to write journals. To think how we love each other.
Mother behaves beautifully.
APRIL 25.-One does not feel like saying much about it, when one is as happy as I am. I walk the streets as one treading on air. I fly about the house as on wings. I kiss everybody I see.
Now that I look at Ernest (for he makes me call him so) with unprejudiced eyes, I wonder I ever thought him clumsy. And how ridiculous it was in me to confound his dignity and manliness with age!
It is very odd, however, that such a cautious, well-balanced man should have fallen in love with me that day at Sunday-school. And still stranger that with my headlong, impulsive nature, I deliberately walked into love with him!
I believe we shall never get through with what we have to say to each other. I am afraid we are rather selfish to leave mother to herself every evening.
SEPT.
Katy.-One can't be always praying. I don't feel like it.
SCENE FOURTH.
Katy.-You treat Dr. Elliott shamefully. I should think he would really avoid you as you avoid him.
Kate-Don't let me hear his name. I don't avoid him.
Katy.-You do not deserve his good opinion.
Kate.-Yes, I do.
SCENE FIFTH
Just awake in the morning.
Katy.-Oh, dear! how hateful I am! I am cross and selfish, and domineering, and vain. I think of myself the whole time; I behave like a heroine when Dr. Elliott is present, and like a naughty, spoiled child when he is not. Poor mother! how can she endure me? As to my piety, it is worse than none.
Kate, a few hours later.-Well, nobody can deny that I have a real gift in managing children! And I am very lovable, or mother wouldn't be so fond of me. I am always pleasant unless I am sick, or worried, and my temper is not half so hasty as it used to be. I never think of myself, but am all the time doing something for others. As to Dr. E., I am thankful to say that I have never stooped to attract him by putting on airs and graces. He sees me just as I am. And I am very devout. I love to read good books and to be with good people. I pray a great deal. The bare thought of doing wrong makes me shudder. Mother is proud of me, and I don't wonder. Very few girls would have behaved as I did when Emma was burned. Perhaps I am not as sweet as some people. I am glad of it. I hate sweet people. I have great strength of character, which is much better, and am certainly very high-toned.
But, my poor journal, you can't stand any more such stuff, can you? But tell me one thing, am I Katy or am I Kate?
Chapter 10
X
APRIL 20.
YESTERDAY I felt better than I have done since the accident. I ran about the house quite cheerily, for me. I wanted to see mother for something, and flew singing into the parlor, where I had left her shortly before. But she was not there, and Dr. Elliott was. I started back, and was about to leave the room, but he detained me.
"Come in, I beg of you," he said, his voice grow mg hoarser and hoarser. "Let us put a stop to this."
"To what?" I asked, going nearer and nearer, and looking up into his face, which was quite pale.
"To your evident terror of being alone with me, of hearing me speak. Let me assure you, once for all, that nothing would tempt me to annoy you by urging myself upon you, as you seem to fear I may be tempted to do. I cannot force you to love me, nor would I if I could. If you ever want a friend you will find one in me. But do not think of me as your lover, or treat me as if I were always lying in wait for a chance to remind you of it. That I shall never do, never."
"Oh, no, of course not!" I broke forth, my face all in a glow, and tears of mortification raining down my cheeks. "I knew you did not care for me I! knew you had got over it!"
I don't know which of us began it, I don't think he did, and I am sure I did not, but the next moment I was folded all up in his great long arms, and a new life had begun!
Mother opened the door not long after, and seeing what was going on, trotted away on her dear feet as fast as she could.
APRIL 21.-I am too happy to write journals. To think how we love each other.
Mother behaves beautifully.
APRIL 25.-One does not feel like saying much about it, when one is as happy as I am. I walk the streets as one treading on air. I fly about the house as on wings. I kiss everybody I see.
Now that I look at Ernest (for he makes me call him so) with unprejudiced eyes, I wonder I ever thought him clumsy. And how ridiculous it was in me to confound his dignity and manliness with age!
It is very odd, however, that such a cautious, well-balanced man should have fallen in love with me that day at Sunday-school. And still stranger that with my headlong, impulsive nature, I deliberately walked into love with him!
I believe we shall never get through with what we have to say to each other. I am afraid we are rather selfish to leave mother to herself every evening.
SEPT.