Stink and The Incredible Shrinking Kid - Megan Mcdonald [1]
“No tippy-toes either.”
Judy measured Stink top to bottom. She measured him foot to head. She measured him head to foot. Something was not right.
“Well?” asked Stink.
“Bad news,” said Judy.
“What?” asked Stink.
“You’re shorter than you were this morning. One quarter inch shorter!”
Stink made a face. “Not possible.”
“Stink. The Women of Science ruler does not lie.”
“Shorter? How can I be shorter?”
“Simple,” said Judy. “You shrunk!”
“You’ll grow,” said Dad.
“You’ll grow,” said Mom.
“But you’ll never, ever, ever catch up to me!” said Judy.
When Stink woke up the next morning, his bed felt as big as a country. The ceiling was up there with the sky. And it was a long way down to the floor.
When he went to brush his teeth, even the sink seemed too tall.
“Yipe! I really am shrinking,” said Stink, checking himself out in the mirror. Were his arms a little shorter? Was his head a little smaller?
Stink got dressed. He put on up-and-down-striped pants and an up-and-down-striped shirt.
“What’s with the stripes?” asked Judy.
“Makes me look taller,” said Stink.
“If you say so,” said Judy.
“What?”
“If you really want to look taller, here’s what you do.” Judy handed him a fancy shampoo-type bottle. “Put this hair gel on your hair and leave it in for ten minutes. Then you’ll be able to comb your hair so it sticks straight up. Sticking-up hair will make you look taller.”
Stink put the goopy goop in his hair. He left it in his hair while he made his bed. He left it in his hair while he packed up his backpack. He left it in his hair all through breakfast.
“We could play baseball, and you could be shortstop,” Judy told him.
“So funny I forgot to laugh,” said Stink.
Judy pointed to Stink’s hair. “Hey, I think it’s working!” she said.
“Really? Do you think people will notice?”
“They’ll notice,” said Judy.
Stink ran upstairs to look in the mirror. “HEY! My HAIR! It’s ORANGE!”
“Don’t worry,” said Judy. “It’ll wash out . . . in about a week.”
“I look like a carrot!” said Stink.
“Carrots are tall,” said Judy, and she laughed all the way to the bus stop.
Stink’s friend Elizabeth sat next to him in class. They were the shortest kids in Class 2D, so they sat up front. “Hi, Elizabeth,” said Stink.
“I’m not Elizabeth anymore,” she told Stink. “From now on, call me Sophie of the Elves.”
“Okay. I have a new name, too. The Incredible Shrinking Stink.”
“But, Stink, you look taller today,” said Elizabeth.
“It’s just the hair,” said Stink. “I’m still short.”
“Not to an elf. To an elf, you’d be a giant. To an elf, you would be the Elf King.”
“Thanks, Sophie of the Elves,” said Stink.
The bell rang, and Mrs. Dempster passed out spelling words. Three of the new words were shrink, shrank, shrunk. At lunch, the dessert was strawberry shortcake. And in Reading, Mrs. Dempster read everybody a book called The Shrinking of Treehorn.
The book was all about a boy who plays games and reads cereal boxes and gets shorter and shorter. He keeps shrinking and shrinking. Then, just when he becomes a normal size again, he turns green!
“Any comments?” Mrs. Dempster asked when the story was over.
Stink raised his hand. “Is that a true story?”
Mrs. D. laughed. “I’m afraid not,” she said. “It’s fantasy.”
“Fantasy’s my favorite!” said Sophie of the Elves. “Especially hobbits and elves.”
“Are you sure it’s fantasy?” asked Stink. “Because that kid is a lot like me. Because I’m . . . I’m . . .” Stink could not make himself say shrinking.
“Because you both turned another color?” asked Webster.
“Um, because I like to read everything on the cereal box, too,” said Stink.
“Okay,” said Mrs. Dempster. “Let’s see. Who’s going to carry the milk from the cafeteria today?” Stink was barely paying attention. He never got asked to carry the milk.
“How about Mr. James Moody?” asked Mrs. Dempster.
“Me?” asked Stink. He sat up taller. “I get to carry the milk?”
Stink walked down the second-grade hallway. It looked longer than usual. And wider. He took the stairs down to the cafeteria. Were there always