Stolen Innocence - Lisa Pulitzer [157]
As planned, Lamont arrived on Christmas Eve, and I was overjoyed to see him. That night it was difficult to fall asleep, and in the morning my anticipation got the better of me. I was probably the first “kid” in America awake that day, out of bed by 5:00 A.M. and hoping someone else would soon join me. When no one did, I began preparing a huge breakfast, desperate to get the festivities started. If they smell it, they’ll wake up, I reasoned, but by 7:00 A.M., I was still waiting. Finally I ran in to wake up Lamont. “It’s Christmas morning!” I announced. “It’s time to open the presents.”
Lamont loved the maroon-and-white blanket I had made for him. And he burst into laughter as I squealed aloud tearing at the wrapping paper of the digital camera he’d put under the tree for me.
We had a wonderful celebration and stayed in Oregon to ring in the New Year with Kassandra and Ryan. For the first time since I could remember, I celebrated the coming New Year without fear that the world was going to end. Instead I watched the ball drop in Times Square on Kassandra’s twenty-five-inch TV and looked forward to 2005 with the hope that it would bring bigger and better things into our lives.
Our return to Hurricane in early January was dampened by the discovery that a letter I’d written to Ally had been returned to me. I tried to call Mom, but there was no answer on her private line. Days passed and my repeated calls found no one home. Reluctantly, I phoned the main house at Fred’s. They told me that Mom and the girls were not there, but that was as much information as I could glean. Finally, I was told that Mother Sharon was gone and she was not coming back. The news sent me into a tailspin, and I immediately reached out to the family for help.
Kassandra and Craig decided it was time to involve law enforcement. We all had worried that Mom’s phone at Uncle Fred’s house might have been monitored and her conversations with her children overheard. Now we feared they had moved Mom to keep her from us and hold onto future brides in Sherrie and Ally. Knowing that the Colorado City Police Department would offer no help, Kassandra phoned the neighboring Washington County Police, who convinced her to file a missing-persons report on Mom and both of my sisters. Craig, meanwhile, called prominent church elders trying to find Mom. His interest caused a stir in Short Creek, with followers complaining that the Walls were causing trouble once again.
While we all worried about Mom, life marched forward, and on February 18, 2005, I was in labor. That day, Kassandra came down to St. George with her young son to lend a hand and fill the role my mother no longer could. Like every young girl, I had always imagined the birth of my first child with my mother by my side, but Kassandra did a terrific job, and she was there to welcome my son, Tyler, into the world.
Everything changed for me the moment I held my son in my arms. Looking at Tyler’s little face, I was in awe of him. He didn’t belong to the prophet or the priesthood. He was mine, and no one could take him from me or make me abandon him. Up until the minute I saw him, I hadn’t even imagined how much I could love this baby, and I could tell that Lamont shared my sentiments. I knew how much he wanted to be a father, and seeing him holding our child in his arms was among the happiest moments of my life. He was entranced, staring joyfully into our little boy’s blue eyes. In that moment I realized that I was finally free. Free to make my own choices, free to send my child to school, and to college, and to let him experience all the world had to offer us. It didn’t matter anymore that a single man had condemned me to hell or that the people