Stolen Innocence - Lisa Pulitzer [22]
In the weeks after Craig’s departure, a pall set over the house, and even Mother Laura’s pregnancy and impending delivery didn’t lift the mood. Having Craig leave was even hard for Dad, but he hoped it would bring our family’s turbulence to an end. Dad had been optimistic that without their older brother’s brooding influence, the younger children would fall back into line. Instead, some of them began to exhibit their anger at having lost so many older siblings.
The summer before Craig left, my brother Travis, four years Craig’s junior, had begun to question his faith in much the same way that Craig had. The church leaders decided to send Travis to Short Creek to reform so that he would become more faithful. Sending children to reform was the church’s way of dealing with those who got out of line. Because Travis was younger than Craig there was still “hope” for him in the eyes of the priesthood, and this retreat was supposed to bring him back into compliance. On a reform retreat, the boys do manual labor for the priesthood, while immersed in the teachings of the church and isolated from their families. At the end of their time, they are supposed to return to their homes behaving and thinking properly.
Travis was placed with a family in southern Utah known for its good priesthood children. The hope was that being in their household would remind him of his role as an obedient and active member of the church, but the reality was that reform was a harsh environment. Shut off from communication with his family, Travis was mistreated by those in charge of his attitude adjustment.
Even without Travis in the house, his doubts began to trickle down to the twins, Justin and Jacob, and Brad, all of whom adored their older brothers and used them as examples. The younger boys now displayed their own doubts about the church’s role in our family, and Mom was powerless as she watched the same fights that Craig and Travis had with our father and mothers happen all over again. The departure of Travis and Craig had done little to change Dad’s manner or the feeling in the house. Desperate not to lose yet another son, I later learned that Mom had begun confiding her fears to my sister Rachel. She was worried that my father had lost his ability to control and unite our family, and she believed we needed outside help.
Though we knew things were bad, none of us were aware that Mom was losing faith in our father. All we knew was that every day the problems seemed to get worse and the options seemed to grow fewer.
CHAPTER FOUR
IN LIGHT AND TRUTH
The prophet can do no wrong.
—WARREN JEFFS
After all the struggles in our home, I longed for my mother’s pain to subside and for peace to be restored. That previous August I’d returned to Alta Academy a fifth-grader. While I wasn’t in an upper classroom yet, I was now in my second year with the big kids in the meeting hall for Devotional.
In addition to being our principal, Warren also taught a number of our classes. One of them was a class in priesthood history, which occurred every day and was considered the most important lesson in school. Uncle Warren would teach us everything about our religion’s history, starting from biblical lessons to the Book of Mormon and going through the life of Joseph Smith as well as the more recent developments in the FLDS. Uncle Warren would always use priesthood-approved scriptures to teach the lesson, and then he would explain them using his own words.
Part of the curriculum for older girls was to study In Light and Truth, an FLDS publication. The book was a collection of condensed sermons and teachings by Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, Uncle Rulon, and many others. Warren would read the various lessons to the girls, applying his own spin. He would even read the words of his own sermons in such a way as to make us believe that the words were coming directly from God.
We were encouraged to listen to tapes of Uncle Warren’s important sermons as frequently as we could.