Stolen Innocence - Lisa Pulitzer [57]
“Ah, you’re joking with me, right?”
“No, I’m fourteen,” I replied, unsure why we were having the conversation. But my confusion quickly passed when Uncle Fred chuckled, and I joined in.
A few weeks later, Mom and I were preparing another Friday lunch. Together we were running around, washing and cutting everything in the kitchen. I was standing at the sink when Uncle Fred came up behind me and put his arm around my shoulder. “Very soon, you are going to make a good wife to a man,” he said softly into my ear.
Mom was standing nearby, and I instantly saw a look of astonishment come over her face. Even though I was somewhat alarmed by the comment, Uncle Fred was my priesthood head, and knowing that he was pleased with me felt good. His compliments were rewarding, even if they came with these cryptic remarks about marriage. Besides, he couldn’t honestly want me to get married “soon.” I was only fourteen.
Mom, however, remained worried. Her trepidation only increased when Uncle Fred invited me to join him and three of my older stepsisters on a trip to Phoenix, where he purchased provisions to replenish our six-month food supply and for the community storehouse, which was a metal shed where some FLDS members got food at no charge. Fred’s pantry was the biggest I’d ever seen, and the walk-in refrigerator was bigger than one you’d find in a sizable restaurant. Because he frequently made these trips to Phoenix, Fred had a home there. It was considered a great honor to be one of the family members invited to go with him. Since I had come to Fred’s house, I had watched a number of girls and boys have the chance to go, but never before had he selected me. Though I tried to shrug it off at the time, the reality was that not being chosen had left me feeling disappointed and a bit jealous—just one more thing that demonstrated I was on the outside of the family.
I should have known that something was up when he extended the invitation to me, but I was blinded by my excitement at being included. All I could think about was that for the first time since I had left Salt Lake, my “father” was beginning to approve of me. I thought maybe I was starting to belong somewhere in the Jessop house, and perhaps it would only be a matter of time before the other girls started to accept me as well.
The trip was a fun break from our normal routine. We got to eat in restaurants, and I enjoyed meeting some of the girls who had accompanied the other church elders on the trip. In the euphoria of the moment, I didn’t think much about the fact that the last two daughters who’d accompanied Fred to Phoenix had been married soon after their return. When it did occur to me, I dismissed it right away, knowing that at least eight of Uncle Fred’s daughters were older than I was. Surely they would be placed in marriages long before me.
We’d been back home just a few weeks when Uncle Fred made an announcement during our weekly prayer service in his living room. Everyone was assembled when he informed us that the prophet had found a “place” for three of his “girls” at the side of priesthood elders. We all knew what that meant; the three unnamed girls were going to be married. When the prophet arranged a marriage for a girl, it was often referred to as a “place.” For the prophet to tell your father he has a “place” for you is supposed to be one of the greatest moments in the life of an FLDS girl. We all looked around excitedly wondering who they would be. Some of the girls tried to pry it out of Uncle Fred, but he maintained his big secretive grin and said nothing.
Several days passed and everyone was still eagerly awaiting word of who the lucky three were and when the marriages would take place. One night, as we were all gathered for evening prayer, the chosen girls were subtly revealed. After prayer, it was customary for the boys to shake Fred’s hand and the girls to receive a light hug from him. I joined the line behind my mother to hug Uncle Fred, and as I went to put my arms around him, he also gathered