Storm Warning - Mercedes Lackey [110]
All very well, An’desha thought, after a moment of silence, and I am glad he feels this way—but what about me? What about the dreams, and—
“However, that has nothing to do with your predicament, An’desha,” Ulrich said, startling him. Could Ulrich read his mind? “You have some very real fears that need to be addressed. Let me start with the one closest to your heart—the fear that you are still possessed by that evil creature that called himself Bane-of-Falcons.”
An’desha leaned forward eagerly, misgivings forgotten. Point by point, with careful detail, Ulrich proved to him that he knew what he was talking about—and that, as Firesong and everyone else had said, Falconsbane was gone.
What convinced him was that Ulrich had a reason—a sound, believable reason, for some of the things he’d been experiencing. “There really is a simple explanation. You are only now able. to feel the physical effects of your emotions, after so many years existing only as a disembodied spirit, so to speak,” Ulrich told him patiently. “For you, such things are as fresh and startling as regained sight for one who was blinded, or hearing restored to the deaf! Think of how such a former deaf man would react to a sudden noise—and then think how you are reacting to a sudden surge of emotion. Not only that, you are feeling the sweat of your palms, flushing of the skin or paleness that come with emotions, for the first time in a very long time. They must feel overwhelming to you, easy to interpret as signs of possession. Yet you now feel them with your own body, and not one taken over by an evil spirit.”
An’desha nodded, very slowly. This made such good sense, he hardly knew what to think.
“I’m not—I cannot seem to deal with all this,” he began hesitantly.
Ulrich smiled. “If you were handling all this well, then I would suspect another possessing spirit, for no sane human could be taking your situation well at this moment!”
Weakly, An’desha returned his smile. “I suppose you are right, when you put it that way—”
“An’desha, not every soul is suited to being a Priest, or a conquering hero, or a serene Healer. You blame yourself for being a coward, when in fact you show more bravery than anyone should expect of you. Judge yourself, not what others would think of you, and be content with what you can do. This does not excuse you from learning how to control your emotions,” Ulrich warned. “The shadow of your demon still lurks there. His taint is that it is much, much easier for you to feel anger than joy, hatred than compassion. These are old, worn paths through your body, which will react according to long habit—and old, worn paths through your mind, which experienced what Falconsbane experienced. It is always easier to take the well-worn path than the new one. You must overcome that taint. The scars upon your soul can be smoothed away, but it will take not only time, but your own will, that you will prove to be nothing like him.”
That, too, made sense, and An’desha nodded, more comforted now than he could express. Granted, others—including Firesong—had said exactly the same things to him, though in different words, and with no explanations; but this time he felt he could believe them, since they came from an impartial source.
Perhaps Ulrich was a kind of Mind-Healer—or perhaps, a Spirit-Healer, if there was such a thing.
And who am I to say that there is not? Karal said so. I think that I must believe him.
“But this other—this great fear you have that there is danger for all of us that we cannot foresee—this troubles me,” Ulrich continued. “This may be something you are sensitive to because of those ancient memories you carry; that would be my guess, at least.” He chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully. “If you would like it put another way, part of you, the part of you that holds those ancient memories, knows what they contain, and knows that there