Storm Warning - Mercedes Lackey [174]
Unlike me ... The unspoken implication had not escaped Karal. “Wh-who?” Karal asked dully, wiping his nose.
:Listen,: was Florian’s only answer.
Obediently, Karal stifled his sniffling for a moment. As he strained his ears to listen over the sound of the river nearby, he heard what Florian was talking about—a high-pitched wail so much like a baby’s cry that he was startled.
A baby? But what would a baby be doing out in the middle of the Field?
The wail came again, so full of heartbreak and pain that Karal had to respond to it; he walked in the general direction of the sound, Florian following behind. A few moments later, he knew what it was—not a baby, but a cat.
“Is that Altra?” he asked, incredulously.
:Yes,: Florian replied. :He hasn’t told you the whole truth, Karal. The Firecats are almost exactly like us—like Companions, except that they have magic to protect themselves, and they can move themselves the way someone who has the Fetching Gift can move an object. They are mortal, they eat—he’s been stealing food from the kitchen—and they have no more idea about what is going to happen in the future than you or I do.:
“That was why he didn’t know that the disruption-waves were coming, he only knew something was going to happen.” Karal replied absently, distracted for the moment from his grief by this revelation.
:Yes. And that was why he didn’t know you were going to be attacked until it happened. Nor does he know who
your attacker was. He blames himself.: Florian’s mental voice was saddened and subdued. :I can understand that only too well. I had thought about urging you to take a break this morning and come out here for a ride on Trenor; you haven’t seen him for days. I keep wondering what would have happened if I had done that instead of just thinking about it.:
“What’s the point in rasping away at yourself with might-have-beens?” Karal retorted. “All you do is make yourself hurt more—”
:I know that. You know that. It is Altra who needs to hear that.: They were practically on top of the wailing now, and Karal made out a white form curled into a ball of misery, wailing disconsolately into the night. Karal’s heart and his resolve to stay controlled broke at the same time.
“Altra—he cried, flinging himself down in the grass beside the Firecat. He took the Cat into his arms exactly as Talia had taken him into her comforting embrace, and his tears started again. ”Altra, Altra, it wasn’t your fault.”
:I had to choose,: the Cat cried in his mind. :I had to choose, and I was sent for you, so I had to choose you.:
“And you almost saved both of us anyway,” Karal told him, holding his furred body tightly, as the Firecat shivered with more than physical cold. “You aren’t the Sunlord, Altra, you can’t know everything or be everywhere at once. You did your best. I know that.”
:But I couldn’t—save—him!: The heartbreaking wail began again. Altra had no way to shed tears, so Karal did the crying for them both.
Florian stood vigil over them, a solid, comforting presence in the dark, until they were finally too tired to weep anymore.
In the end, Karal picked up the exhausted Firecat—who must have weighed nearly half what he himself did—and carried him to the ekele, with Florian walking beside them. Firesong was still awake, but he said nothing when he met them all at the entrance to his home, neither about the lateness of the hour nor Karal’s odd burden. He only gestured for Karal to follow and led the way to that peculiar room draped to resemble the interior of a tent.
And this was where Karal talked to Altra until the sun rose, telling him all the things he had tried to tell himself, and in so doing, seeing the truth in those things. That was where they finally slept, spent and exhausted—but neither one alone.
When Karal awoke, he knew by the sun that it was well into the afternoon. He’d slept far later than he had thought he would, and Altra was still curled against him. The Firecat woke as soon as he moved, though, and raised his head to look at him with shadowed blue eyes.