Stormy Vows - Iris Johansen [130]
“It's true I owe you my life,” she said quietly. “But that isn't the reason that I want to belong to you.”
“Then may I ask why I'm so honored?” he asked, looking down at his cigarette with narrowed eyes.
“I love you,” she said simply, her golden eyes serene.
His dark gaze flew to meet hers, and he smiled cynically. “I might be touched if I thought you knew what you were talking about. If such an emotion exists, it's not the hodgepodge of gratitude and sex that you're feeling right now.”
“You're wrong, gratitude has nothing to do with it,” she said softly, her eyes lingering on the bold planes of his face. “As for sex, if this sample was anything to go by, it promises to be pretty terrific, but I made the first move before I knew that, Jake.”
His gaze returned to the glowing end of his cigarette. “So when did you get this great revelation?” he asked mockingly. “I saw no sign of it before tonight.”
“I only knew today,” she said calmly. “I watched you sitting on that deck looking so blasted pleased with yourself that I wanted to murder you, and I knew that I'd love you forever.” Her lips twisted wryly. “It came as quite a shock to me.”
“And you say it's not gratitude,” he scoffed. “Let's face it, Jane, you were in a highly emotional state and you convinced yourself that you were feeling something that just wouldn't exist under normal conditions.”
She shook her head, her lips curving in a tender smile. “If you want to believe that, I can't stop you. I just know what I feel, Jake.”
His eyes were diamond-hard as he looked up again. “Then you'd better get over it damn quick. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not a safe person to care about. You'd come out of any relationship with me covered with battle scars. I don't think you could survive the game the way I play it.”
She smiled sadly. “Don't worry about me—I'll survive,” she said gently. “You're not responsible in any way.”
He muttered a curse beneath his breath and crushed the cigarette out in the ashtray. “Charming,” he said savagely. “So I'm to take what you offer and when I tire of you, simply cast you aside?”
“I hope not,” she replied tranquilly. “I'm going to work very hard to make sure that I always have a place in your life.” Her expression was endearingly earnest as she continued. “I promise I won't make things uncomfortable for you.”
“You're not going to get the chance,” he said roughly. “I've never found the idea of seducing innocents particularly appealing, and I have no intention of assuming the responsibility of your brand of commitment.” His lips tightened ruthlessly. “I admit that I have a yen for that alluring little body of yours, but I can satisfy that urge with any number of women.” His eyes were merciless on her suddenly pale face. “Benjamin said I should have sent you home, and he was right. You leave tomorrow.”
She had listened to him silently, pain gradually dulling the gold of her eyes. She shook her head. “I won't go,” she told him quietly. “I won't be a bother to you, but I won't leave you either, Jake.”
“God, what a little fool you are!” he said brutally. “Don't you know when you're fighting a losing cause? I use women, I don't love them. What makes you think that a fresh-faced college kid is going to change my mind?”
“I don't expect you to love me,” she answered passionately. “I only know that I love you and want to be with you. I don't know what place I'll find in your life. But whether it's as your mistress or your friend or just a steward on the Sea Breeze, I won't stand any chance at all if I let you send me away. I'm not leaving you, Jake!”
“I think you will,” he said coolly, “when you find what a mistake you're making.”
She shook her head, her eyes bright with unshed tears. “I told you once that there is only one way for me. It's still the truth, Jake.”
His dark eyes were burning fitfully as he stared into her woebegone face. “Damn it to hell.” His tone was exasperated. “You know I'll hurt you if you stay. Why can't you be sensible and put a few thousand miles between us? You just might be safe then.