Straight Life - Art Pepper [135]
We cased it. Ruben found out where the bread was. We staked it out for three weeks. We were going to do it in the morning when the cleaning guy, the mayate, the spook, cleaned it. We figured they might have twenty, thirty grand, which was a lot of bread, a lot of dope. But it wasn't only the bread or the dope. It was the idea of having the balls and the heart to do it. Everybody would be out to kill us. Me. Art Pepper. And I wanted to have a gun because I wanted to be able to kill somebody so I could be the cat that was the violent one-from prison, from the movies, you know. I wanted to shoot two or three people because I thought it would prove my strength.
The time comes, and we meet, and Ruben gives me the strips of wire to tie up the spook, thick wire like baling wire. I fold it up and put it in my pocket. He gives me a crowbar and I say, "Where's my gun?" And he says, "I'm not going to give you a gun, man. You're too crazy." You see, they all thought I was insane. It kind of knocked me out. These were violent, killergangster type cats. Guys that had stabbed people in prison and killed them, and they thought I was too violent. Me. A musician. Real lovable, a loner, a real melancholy type person. They were afraid to give me a gun, and that flattered me.
We went to a gas station across the street from this bar and fixed one last time, in case we were killed, so we'd be straight. I had the wire in my back pocket and the crowbar and Ruben had the gun. We parked the car the way we planned it, and we watched, and all of a sudden two mayates come out and start cleaning the windows in front. There's two spooks instead of one. It's the first time there's been two. I said, "I told you you should have let me have a gun! What's going to happen now? If I go in the back or in the front or wherever you go, I'm going to be without a gun!" He said, "It's too late now. Do you want to forget it?" I said, "I just want the money, man. Let me have the gun, man. Let me do it by myself. Let me just go in and kill them." I'd lost interest in seeing if I had the balls or not. I knew I had the heart. I could have killed anyone, twenty people if I had to, just to get the money to get the dope.
Ruben said, "I'll go in the back. I'll subdue them. You stand by the front, by the door. You wait, count to a hundred, and then walk in." I said, "I walk in! What if they got a gun? They'll just kill me!" He said, "You want to do it or not?" I said, "Alright. Fuck it. Go ahead then."
This was Monday morning. They were going to take the money to the bank at ten o'clock. It was starting to get daylight. The people were waiting at the bus stop to go to work. Here I was. I was just going to walk in dead through the front door. Ruben went to the back. I waited and waited. I counted. Then I went in. Ruben had one guy down, lying on the floor; the other one had his hands in the air, and Ruben had the gun on him, a violent, old-looking gun. The guy was just praying, "Don't kill me! Don't kill me! Please don't kill me!" I walked in and he saw me and just flipped out. He was shaking all over and Ruben said, "Tie him up." I started walking toward him. I reached in my back pocket to get the wire, and he thought I was reaching for a gun and he went completely crazy. He broke and ran. He started running toward me, toward the door. He was a great big mayate. I grabbed at him and tried to hold him, but he pulled away. I yelled at Ruben "Kill him! Shoot him!" And Ruben had the gun on him, but he didn't fire, and the guy just ran right through me and out the door screaming, "Help! Help! They're going to kill me! Help!" I ran to the door to try to stop him, and then I ran back. I said, "What are we going to do now? Why didn't you shoot him? Boy, what a fucking asshole you are! Talk about having balls-you haven't got any heart at all! Where's the money?" And I ran around behind