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By Root 1447 0

right away I think, "Uh-oh, that's what the cat wants. He's intrigued with me." I say, "Yeah, why?" He says, "I been watching you." I say, "I know that, man. I could tell you were watching me. What's your story?" I was trying to act tough. I was scared to death. He says, "Well, I been watching you, man, and, uh, you, you got a lotta friends. A lot of friends. A lot of friends. I've been asking about you. Quietly. I noticed that a lot of people like you. You talk to Chicanos. You talk to suedes. You talk to everybody. Everybody seems to like you. You have a lot of friends. I'm not like that. I'm here for murder. You've probably heard that. I'm here for murder-a couple of times. And I've killed a couple people in jail since I been here. I don't think I'm ever going to get out. I don't like people. People don't like me." Then he says, "I'm lonesome." And I think, "Oh God, here it is. The cat's lonesome." I say, "Yeah, well, I'm lonesome, too. God! I'll say I'm lonesome, man! I'd give anything in the world if I wasn't here and I had my old lady or some chick that really dug me." He looked at me and he gave me the funniest look. He says, "Chick? That's a thing from another world." And I think, "That's it! That's what the guy wants! He wants me! What am I going to say to him? What am I going to do?"

I'm looking in his eyes, and they're a dead, pale blue. There's nothing there. I say, "Yeah, man, yeah. We're all lonely, man. I feel for you. At least I'm going to get out one of these days." He says, "Well, I just want you to understand my position, man. I'm lonely, and I can't stand it anymore, and I've got to have someone." I say, "Yeah?" He says, "I've got to have someone." I think, "What am I going to do?" He says, "I've got to have someone. You know that little cat that you got?" I didn't understand what he'd said. It didn't sink in, I was so scared. I thought he was going to hit on me. I said, "What do you mean?" He says, "You know. You know. Penn. Your little friend." I say, "Penn? Oh, you mean, oh, you mean Penn." He says, "Yeah, yeah. Penn, your little friend." I say, "Well, what about him, man?" He says, "Well, man, you're popular, like I told you. Here I am all alone." And then he says, "I've got things to offer. A lot to offer. I'm clean...."

He started telling me his good points. He says, "I've killed a few people, but that was just circumstances. They got in my way and there was no way out. I had to do it. And," he says, "maybe I'm a little crazy." And I thought, "A little!" It was a cold day. Northern California. Wind's blowing. It must have been thirty degrees, and I was sweating. He says, "You could have anybody you want. I've seen Mandy, like, looking at you. She'd give you anything you wanted, man. I've been looking and looking. That little guy, Penn, just turns me on. I really love him." And then the whole thing was clear to me! I said, "Well. Great, man, great!"

I was so relieved. I said, "Oh, wonderful!" I almost broke into some insane laughter. I was so scared I almost peed in my pants. I thought he was going to stab me right there because there's some strange people, man, and all the stories I'd heard about this guy! I said, "Well, that's great, man, why don't you talk to him?" And he says, "I can't talk to him. That's your, that's your old lady, man." I say, "No! No he's not!" He says, "Alright, now, lookit . . . " You know, he wouldn't believe me. I tried to explain, but he thought I was trying to get out of making a deal. He says, "Alright, I'll tell you what. You decide what you want for him. I'm appeaLng to you now. I'm appealing to your good nature. You can have anything you want. With me, I'm hung here. I saw him. I like him. I want him. I need him. I have to have him. I know maybe you care for him, too, but you could find somebody else. Please. Could you do me a favor? Please. You tell me how many cigarettes you want for him, and whatever I can give you outside of that. If any dope comes in-you're a dopefiend, right?-I'll kill somebody and get some dope for you. You make a price, moneywise," meaning