Straight Life - Art Pepper [186]
Mandy says, "I've been watching you. Even when you were here last time. At that time I had an old man and I was in love with him, but I kept looking at you, and you really move me." He had never been out. I'd been out and come back. I think he'd killed a couple of people in an armed robbery. He said, Now, things are different." His old man had gone home. "I like the way you carry yourself and I don't like to see you sniffing glue. You deserve better than that. You've got too much class to be doing that. I like you. You're clean and neat and you're talented. Whenever you play out in the yard I sit in the distance and listen and watch you. You're wonderful. I really care for you. If you could feel the same way you'd never have to worry about a thing. Clothes-look at the way I'm dressed." It was the epitome of dress in the joint. He says, "Dope-when anything comes in I'll go to 'em and jack 'em up and get part of it or else. Every night in your cell, until I can arrange to move you into my cell, every night you'll be delivered steak sandwiches. Anything you want. Canteen. From now on, if you have eyes, you won't have to draw any money anymore. Just take whatever money you got and keep it. Save it for when you get out. You won't have to worry about a thing-cigarettes, coffee, chucholucos. Anything you want you've got. And if anybody ever messes with you, or if there's somebody you don't like, tell me and I'll take care of them. That's it, man. I just want someone to be close to and someone to love."
Most of the guys in the joint go for whatever situation they're in. That's how they conduct themselves. I'd asked a lot of guys how they could make that scene and they said, "Well, it's just something you do while you're here, and then when you get out it's different." But I couldn't do it. I just could not do it. I've seen three or four guys get some cigarettes together and pay them to a fruiter; they meet someplace and he gives them each head and they don't see anything wrong with it. But I couldn't do it. It would have been much easier if I could. I looked at Mandy and I said, "Man, I'm sorry. If I made that scene you'd be the one I'd want more than anyone else, but I've just never made that scene, and I can't do it. I can't do it." He said, "Well, let's be friends and we'll see what happens."
I got away from him and I got nervous. I talked to some friends of mine. I talked to Frank Ortiz. He said, "Man, watch out for that cat because if you accept anything from him you'll put yourself in a position-he might think you led him on." And right away Mandy started offering me things, so I told him no, that I couldn't take them because it wasn't right. He got drug, and he got hurt, but then he said, "I appreciate your honesty. We could have had a ball. But I can't rank you for being honest, and I admire you for not trying to take advantage of me and get something for nothing." And from then on we were friends.
I finally quit the glue sniffing, but I kept taking black-andwhites. I'd take sixteen or eighteen of them every morning in my cell with my coffee. With black-and-whites you lose your equilibrium. You fall down and run into things. There were three or four of us who'd been taking them, hanging out together. One day I was sitting with these guys on the yard, sitting on one of the domino tables, and I dropped my cigarette. I went to pick it up. I bent down and fell off the table. I cut my head and got all bloody. When blood is drawn it's a serious thing. The guards think you've killed somebody or somebody's shanked you, so my friends stood around me while one of them got a wel rag and cleaned my forehead. I'm goofing around, and right away I fall off the table again and hit my head in the same place. Now, they get a guy to sneak in the hospital and get some