Straight Life - Art Pepper [218]
I went into the bathroom. They have mirrors above the washbasins. I stood and looked at myself in the mirror. I opened my mouth. I closed my eyes and opened my eyes. I smiled. I said, "You're not crazy, are you?" I answered myself, "No, I'm not crazy. Are you?" And then I thought it was very amusing. It just seemed very amusing to me that I had finally found someone I could communicate with. I got a pleasant feeling. I said, "Well, what's the matter with these people? We're alright." And the face in the mirror said, "Yeah, we're alright. What's wrong?" I said, "Nothing's wrong now. Everything's cool." And I laughed and turned to the side and gave my best profile, and I raised my left eyebrow. I learned how to do that when I was a kid, to look sexy. I forget who it was-Victor Mature or somebody did it, and all the women liked it. You raise just the eyebrow.
After three weeks the doctor told me I was alright. They would let me out. The morning came, and they gave me a little sack with some cigarettes in it, a candy bar, a package of gum, a toothbrush, and some tranquilizers. I walked outside and sat on the lawn waiting for Christine to come pick me up, and here she comes in this ridiculous little Anglia. It was hard for me to get up and down because I was in such pain. I walked over to the car, and as soon as I saw her face I knew something was wrong. I looked from her face to the back seat, and there were my clothes. She said, "Where do you want to go? Art, I just can't take it anymore. Here's your stuff. Where do you want to go?" She got tears in her eyes. I said, "Oh, man, cut the tears, that's so ridiculous." I got in the car. I wouldn't have got in, but I couldn't walk. I couldn't do anything. I thought for a minute and I said, "Let's go to Les Koenig's."
We went to Contemporary Records. I said, "You don't have to go in with me." She said, "I want to make sure you're okay." I said, "Fuck you." There was nothing I could do. I could fight her or kill her or something, but I couldn't keep her from walking in with me. I asked the secretary, "May I see Les?" She gave me a funny look. She said, "Just a minute." But Les heard us talking and he said, "Art! Come-on-in!"
I walked into his office. Les looked at me, and I could tell from his face that I really looked bad. He said, "What's happening?" I said, "They let me out of the hospital. Christine and I are breaking up." I knew he didn't like Christine anyway. He said, "What are you going to do? Where are you going to go?" I said, "I need some money. Can you let me have some money?" He said, "Well, I want to do the right thing. I want to help you. I don't want to do anything that's going to hurt you." He meant that he didn't want to give me money to buy dope with. He said, "There's a motel up the street. I'll give them a call and find out if we can get you a room. I'll come and see you every day and pay your rent, give you money to eat with." He called the place, but there were no vacancies. I said, "I guess I can go out to the valley to my mother's and spend the night." He said, "Why don't you go over to your dad's? Why don't you go out there and recuperate and then come back?" Les knew I could do nothing the way I was. I said alright. I said, "Could I have a few dollars? Just money to get out there?" He couldn't refuse me so he gave me ten or fifteen dollars. I thanked him and told him I'd go to my mother's and get my dad to come pick me up.
We got back in the car. I told Christine, "If I was strong enough to take a bus and there was a bus that would go there I would take a bus to my mother's." She started driving. I told her, "Stop here." I went into a liquor store and bought a fifth of brandy.
My mother's