Straight Life - Art Pepper [221]
Merle brought my suitcase. He said, "Well, I'm going." I said, "Wait! Wait!" They said, "No, no, you go." I said, "Wait outside for me!" People were looking at me. I didn't see anybody I knew. I didn't feel any feeling I liked. They walked me up the stairs and took me into the office, and there's Greg Dykes. They started asking me the same old questions. Did I have any money? Do I really want to do something for myself? I told them, "I don't have any place to go, man. I'm fucked up. I don't have any place to go." They told me just to go along with them and not worry about anything. They took me downstairs, and I had a chance to talk to Greg. He said, "Everything's alright. We're going to put you on the couch down here. It's just a procedure that everybody goes through, in case you get sick. We'll take care of you and you'll have somebody watching you around the clock. Don't get panicked and walk out. Just stay. We'll do everything we can to make you comfortable, outside of giving you medication. I'm sure glad, I can't tell you how happy I am, that you came here."
We walked into a gigantic room. I expected to see a globe with flashing lights like the old ballrooms had that I used to play in. There was an area that looked like a bar in the back, and I saw tables and people eating. On the right there were eight or ten big, high windows. It was a huge place. And there were couches and chairs and people sitting around, young people, old people. I asked Greg, "Who are all these people?" He said, "These are just the people that are here. These are Synanon people." They had great big couches, a whole bunch of them in lines. I saw somebody else lying on a couch. He looked terrible. Greg said, "That's somebody like you that's kicking. They look after him and get him things." I remember Greg saying, "This is the only time you're really treated good, so anything you want, ask for it. Anytime they offer you something and you want it, say yes." Somebody put sheets over an old couch and a blanket. They got a wastebasket and put a plastic liner in it in case I vomited. I sat down. There was a guy that was going to sit with me; he introduced himself. Greg said, "I gotta go. I'll see you in the morning. Relax and get some sleep. Don't be scared. Everything's fine. We're all friends here."
I stayed on the couch a couple of days, I guess, and there were just too many people bothering me, coming around. That's what they do there. In Synanon people won't leave you alone. They wake up in the morning and spend the whole day putting their noses in other people's business: "What's wrong?" "How do you feel?" That's Synanon-bothering and bugging everyone. That's supposed to make you well and make you all one big, happy family. I'd be lying on the couch feeling horrible when all of a sudden some stupid-looking broad or a couple of them would come over and say, "Hello! I'm Margie, and this is Wilma, and what's your name, and how are you, and we're fine. We're from so-and-so. Where are you from?" Oh God! I told the guy who was sitting with me, "I can't stand this. I've gotta get someplace where these people won't be bugging me."
I found out I had a "tribe leader." Everybody was in tribes, like the Indians used to be, and I had a leader. I said, "Well, where's my leader at? Let me find him." He's a real important personage. They don't know if he can be bothered now or not. Finally