Straight Life - Art Pepper [45]
I put her on the bed and got over her and gradually put it in, and it felt wonderful. She was tight and moist. I finally got all the way in, which was hard to do at first because she was small, but she was completely turned on. I kissed her breasts, and she kept hollering, "I love you! You're the most beautiful man in the world! This is the greatest thing that ever happened to me! I'll never forget this moment as long as I live!" And I thought, "Wow! This is my fan club, and there's four of them!"
Usually when I'd ball the chicks that hung around the band, the minute it was over I'd have to leave. I'd have get away from the girl because after my need for sex was satisfied I couldn't stand her. Her smell on my body was like a curse on me, and I'd have to wash myself and scrub because I felt so dirty. But this girl was so sweet that I felt some love and warmth for her, so later I really felt guilty, a million times more guilty. Because I felt like cuddling this girl, because I cared for this girl, I'd really betrayed Patti.
Sex was in my thoughts all the time, and because of my upbringing I felt it was evil. That made it even more attractive to me, and the alcohol and the pills I took made my sex drive even stronger. -I was obsessed.
I used to room with different guys in the band, but if I had the money I'd room alone so I could fool around with the maids. The maid didn't exist for me as a person, so there was nothing Patti could be jealous of. Sometimes they would suck on me or something like that, but what I really wanted wasn't the consummation. I was away from Patti and, so that I wouldn't go out and goof, I wanted to have these experiences which would provide me with vivid mental pictures I could conjure up at will whenever I set about relieving myself by playing with myself.
If I was rooming alone I would wait for the maid to come; I'd peek out the door to see if she was there. I'd leave the door locked, but not from the inside, then she'd think I wasn't in the room. I would lie on the bed and expose myself. I'd fix the covers so the maid could see my joint. I'd pretend I was asleep and put my fingers over my eyes so I could peek out at her, and she'd come in and turn on the light and look and see me, and I used to wig out with their reactions. Some of them would go, "Oooohh!" and practically run out. Some would act nonchalant and just walk out. Others would stand and stare. Some would get nervous and uptight, but they'd be aroused. And then, after