Straight Life - Art Pepper [71]
I hardly ever cheated. Naturally I'd form favorites, and there would be certain players that I'd like better than others, or somebody would get close to a record legitimately and then it would be very hard not to cheat a little. A pitcher might have a shutout, two outs in the ninth inning, and somebody would hit a single, Then I might get angry and re-roll, but the few times I did that I felt bad about it. It spoiled the record, and I swore that I wouldn't do it anymore.
And so, when I was twenty-seven years old, I still had a baseball league going, if you can imagine that. It was something Patti could never understand. I'd be loaded and be up all night in the kitchen playing games. And when I went into the sanitarium, I took my notebook with my schedule, my dice, erasers, pencils, ruler and the whole thing, and I'm playing my league in my room. The nurse came in a couple of times and I explained it to her and she couldn't believe it.
There were some women and a couple of men who had rooms in this place. It was like a hotel. After a few days I started getting out and talking to the people. I met one lady who was about forty-five. She had diamond rings on and just reeked of money. Her pupils were pinpoints. She said, "Oh, hello! Are you the new boy in number seven?" She said, `I'm Mrs. So-andso." We started talking. She said, "What's your trouble?' I said, "I'm a dope fiend." She said, "Tsk, tsk, tsk! Oh, what a shame!" I said, "What's your trouble?" She said, "Well, I have this condition-my veins don't function correctly-and I have to have morphine. It opens up the veins into my brain. And I have trouble sleeping: they give me morphine to help me sleep. And I need the massage-I have muscle problems, you know-I have pains in my back, in my legs, in my lower legs." She showed me her legs.
I met the other patients and they all looked wealthy and they were all stoned. I found out that these people just checked into the sanitarium from time to time, stayed there, and stayed loaded. They get their morphine and their massages, and who can tell what else they get. You know, the guy massaging them-probably whatever they want they get. I thought, "Wow, these people really have it made. No police involved. No jail." I thought, "How beautiful!" I mentioned it to my doctor and he said, "Yeah, but unfortunately you're not in that position, are you, financially?"
I kicked after about two weeks, and I was in pretty good shape with the whirlpool and the rubdowns and the vitamins and the food, but I had a terrible mental craving and I'd have nightmares about dope, just continuously. I was worried. I thought, "Well, here I am checked into this place, and it's costing all this money, and right away I'm trying to get the dosage up." I knew that wasn't right.
It came time to leave, and I went home to Patti, and after we made love she said that she'd decided that maybe it would be better if we didn't stay together right away-just to see how I did-because she was afraid I'd start using again. My feelings were hurt but there was nothing I could do. I stayed with my dad and Thelma for a while and then I went up to my mother's house. And immediately, as soon as I got there, I got ahold of this guy Henry and scored.
Right after that, I went to a jam session with some guys at a place called the Blue Room in Santa Monica. I was playing