Summer Secrets - Barbara Freethy [10]
His grin faded, and their eyes met in a long, poignant moment of desire and regret.
"God, Ash," he murmured. "I told myself I wouldn't do this, wouldn't try to talk to you about what happened. I told myself I was only beating a dead horse. But, dammit, it's still here, whatever this thing is between us. I can feel it right now."
"It's just the ... the wind," she said desperately. "It makes me edgy."
As she finished speaking, the dock took a big roll, sending her stumbling. She grabbed Sean's arm like a lifeline, terrified of ending up in the water.
"Easy," he said.
"I have to get out of here." But she couldn't let go of Sean's arm. What if she fell? The water would be cold. It would make her heart stop. It would rush over her head. She'd have to fight to get back to the surface. Her clothes would drag her down.
"Ashley," Sean said sharply. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
She sent him a blank look. "What?"
"You're white as a sheet."
His words slowly sank in. She realized she was letting him see a side of herself she didn't want anyone to see. "I'm okay." She took a deep breath and forced herself to let go of his arm. "I just felt dizzy for a minute. I guess I didn't eat enough today."
"You don't look like you eat much any day. You're thin as a rail."
Ashley didn't comment, her attention drawn to the crew member on the boat waving her over. "Are you ready?" she asked.
"Yes, but we've changed our minds on the angle. We'd like to have you shoot from onboard, not from the dock. Get the pier in the background and the banner for the race."
Ashley stiffened. She had already shot three boats and their crews from the safety of the docks. It was a good shot. She didn't need to get on the boat. "I think it's better from here."
"No, we want you onboard. Come on." He extended his hand to help her on board.
Ashley looked from his hand to the water that separated the boat from the dock. It was only a foot or two, barely anything. She wouldn't slip or fall. She couldn't. It was perfectly safe. But the swells were lifting the boat and pushing it farther away. What if the line got loose? What if she couldn't get back?
Feelings of panic swamped her. Her breath came faster. Her hands tingled. But she couldn't let on. No one could know. No one could ever know.
"It's getting dark. The clouds are rolling in," Sean said as he watched her measure the distance between the boat and the dock. "Maybe you should wait until tomorrow."
"It's too dark," she told the man on the boat. "We'll have to reschedule. I'm sorry, but I know you wouldn't be happy with the photos in this kind of light. I'll come by tomorrow. We'll do it then."
"Hey, wait a second," the man called after her, but Ashley had already begun walking down the dock, and she didn't stop until she reached solid ground.
She didn't realize Sean had followed her until she stopped abruptly and he barreled into the back of her.
"Sorry," he said.
"It's fine. I'm fine."
"No, you're not. It's still with you, isn't it?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." She looked away from his probing gaze.
"I'm talking about the fear on your face when you considered getting on that boat. I saw it before, when you first got back from the race. I wish you'd tell me what happened to make you so afraid."
"Nothing happened. I just got tired of living on a boat. So tired I can't stand the thought of getting on another one."
"Even after all this time?" he asked, a skeptical note in his voice. "It's been eight years."
"I know how long it's been," she snapped as she looked back at him. "I have to go. I have to talk to Caroline. I'm worried about her."
"What's