Summer Secrets - Barbara Freethy [177]
"It is?" he was surprised Melanie hadn't put Eddie's name there. "Even so, I'm not Jessie's father."
"You were married to Ms. Kane at the time of Jessica's birth. Isn't that correct?"
"Yes, but I'm not her father."
"And you were married for a total of..." Harrison Monroe walked over to his desk and checked a piece of paper. "Nine months and fourteen days."
"I don't remember exactly how long it was, but that sounds about right. I'm not her biological father, though. That honor belongs to a guy named Eddie Saunders."
Harrison opened the file folder on his desk and pulled out a folded piece of paper. "Did you write this note, Mr. Carrigan?"
Alex had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. The paper was old and faded with crease marks, as if it had been tucked away in someone's jewelry box for thirteen years.
He could still remember sitting down at his student desk, staring at the loose-leaf paper in his notebook, wondering how he could possibly be a father when he'd only just finished high school. But he couldn't let Melanie do it alone. He knew what it was like to grow up without two parents. So he'd picked up a pen and written Melanie a note.
"Take it," Harrison urged.
Alex took the paper from the lawyer's hand and slowly unfolded it.
Dear Melanie,
I want to marry you. I want to be a father to my baby. Please call me. I can't stand not knowing what you're going to do.
Love, Alex
"That is your writing, is it not?" Harrison asked.
"It's mine." He folded the note and handed it back to Harrison. "At the time, I believed I was Jessie's father. Later Melanie told me the truth. She left me to go back to Jessie's real father, Eddie Saunders. We got a divorce. Eddie should be responsible for Jessie, not me."
"I'm sorry, but Ms. Kane didn't mention anyone by that name to me."
"She married him."
"No." Harrison shook his head. "The only marriage she participated in was the one with you."
"She told me she was going to marry him."
"She didn't. And it was her wish that you take Jessica in the event of her death."
He stared at the attorney in shock, then looked at Jessie's defiant face. He couldn't take this kid. He couldn't parent this smart-ass girl. He wouldn't know what to do -- what to say.
"This is not going to happen," Alex said wildly. "I -- I refuse."
Jessica walked around the desk and sat down in Mr. Monroe's oversized chair. She leaned back and kicked her feet up on the desk. "I told you he wouldn't take me."
"Yes, well." Mr. Monroe looked from Jessie to Alex. "If you refuse, then I suppose I'll have to call Social Services and have them find her a foster home."
"Great, maybe I can get a smoke there," Jessie said. "I don't need you anyway. You're probably -- probably a big -- a big jerk." Jessie's mouth trembled, and she sniffed back a sob. "Mom said you were a good guy, but you're just like the rest. I'm glad you're not my dad."
He sucked in a deep breath of air as her words cut him deeply. He'd wanted to be her dad once. But Jessie wasn't his. She wasn't his. The words rang through his head like a mantra. But has he looked at Jessie, he wondered if he could really turn his back on her.
"Mr. Carrigan, may I speak to you alone?" Harrison didn't wait for an answer. He pulled Alex into the hall and shut the door so Jessica couldn't overhear them.
"Mr. Carrigan. Putting aside the fact that you don't believe you're Jessica's father -- "
"I'm not."
"As I said, putting that aside for now, I must tell you that Ms. Kane wanted you to take Jessie. She told me you were the only person in the world who could give Jessie the kind of home she deserved. Won't you please reconsider?"
"I can't."
"San Francisco is filled with homeless children. The foster care system is stretched to the limit. Jessica just lost her mother. She's terribly alone right now, and I know she hasn't made the best impression, but underneath all that sass, she's a scared child."
He knew that. But she wasn't his child. And he wouldn't take care of her -- not again.
"Jessica