Summer Secrets - Barbara Freethy [40]
"Maybe we should tell them to get a room," Sean said, coming up behind her.
She whirled around in surprise, embarrassed to be caught watching. "You startled me."
"Sorry. What are you doing down here?"
"Looking for you. I thought you might be on your boat."
"Now you're scaring me," he said with a smile. "Why on earth would you come looking for me when you usually do everything you can to avoid me?"
"I want to talk to you. Can you sit for a minute?" Ashley walked over to a nearby bench and sat down. Sean took a seat beside her, resting his elbows on his knees as he stared straight ahead.
Ashley crossed her legs, then uncrossed them. She smoothed out the sides of her jeans, then played with the necklace that hung around her neck. Sean didn't say a word. She didn't, either. The silence wasn't comfortable. The tension grew with each passing second.
"Your mother came to see me," Ashley said finally, knowing she had to say something.
"So that's why you came looking for me," he said with a nod.
"She's worried about you. She doesn't want you to race in the Castleton, although I think it's the on-to-Hawaii part of it that really bothers her."
"So she said."
Ashley could tell that Sean wasn't in a particularly flexible frame of mind. Casting him a sideways glance, she was struck by the shadow of beard along his jaw, the lean lines of his face, the strength of his chin. It occurred to her how much he had changed. This wasn't the boy she'd fallen in love with. This was a man, a stranger almost. Their private conversations had ended years ago. The time when she had known his every thought, his every dream, was far in the past. She had no idea what he was thinking now, no idea whatsoever.
"I don't know you anymore," she said softly, not realizing she'd spoken aloud until he turned his head, his eyes dark and somber.
"Did you just figure that out?"
"Maybe I did." The realization fueled the sadness that ran deep within her. The only person who had ever really known her was Sean. Not even in her sisters had she confided some of the things she'd told Sean all those years ago. She'd trusted him. He'd trusted her. And that was the crux of the problem. His trust had been misplaced.
"What do you want, Ash?" Sean muttered, his voice edged with annoyance. "Why did you really come looking for me? I have a hard time believing you're at all concerned about anything I do."
"Your mother was very persuasive. I couldn't say no."
"You can say no to me, but you can't say no to my mother?" he asked with a skeptical look in his eyes. He started to stand up, but Ashley put her hand on his arm, the touch between them shocking in its heat and intensity. Their eyes met for a long, long moment.
"It's still there," he muttered. "You can tell me whatever you want, but I can feel it right now, and so can you."
She dropped her hand, her voice unsteady as she said, "This isn't about us, it's about you. Your safety. Your life. Your future. I don't want you to go chasing after Jeremy. You're never going to be able to catch him. You have to let go."
"He was my brother. I can't let him go."
"Whether you let go or not, he'll still be dead. And whether you sail in his wake won't matter a bit to Jeremy, but it will matter to your parents. They don't want to lose you, too."
"I don't want to hurt my parents, but this is something I have to do, Ash. I was fifteen when you left and sixteen when Jeremy took off. I felt like the two people I cared about the most were somewhere in the world having this incredible life while I was plodding away here in town, going to school, doing my homework. I wasn't living the way you were,