Summer Secrets - Barbara Freethy [45]
"And you don't miss the rush of the sea?"
She hesitated. "I should tell you that I don't miss it at all."
"But ..." he prodded.
"Maybe a little. I don't miss the racing. But sometimes I miss the wonder of it all, the incredible sunsets, the awesome quiet, the sense of being a part of something so much bigger than we are."
"What don't you miss?"
"The cold, the endless wet, the hard work, putting up the sails, taking them down, fighting the wind, then praying for the slightest breeze, feeling helpless and vulnerable."
"What else do you miss? Or, should I ask, who?"
"What do you mean?" A wary note entered her voice, but Tyler paid no heed.
"Do you miss Jeremy?"
Kate reached for her water glass and took a long sip. Tyler almost regretted his abrupt change of topic. But experience had taught him to get the interviewee comfortable then strike. Whatever answer he or she came up with wasn't as important as the reaction, and judging by Kate's reaction, Jeremy was a very important subject.
"I ran into Sean earlier," Tyler continued. "That's why I was late."
She raised an eyebrow. "You ran into Sean? How convenient."
"Actually, I was looking for your father at the Oyster Bar. I found Sean instead. He told me that you and his brother, Jeremy, were going to be married after you came home from the race."
Her eyes filled with shadows. "Yes, we were."
"I'm sorry."
"So am I."
"Is that why you don't want to talk about the race -- because Jeremy died?"
"It's a good reason, don't you think? I won a big race, but I lost someone I loved very much. Can't you understand that I want to leave it in the past? It has been difficult to move on, but I've managed to get my life together. I don't want to go back to that place. I don't want to talk about it. I want you to drop the article idea and write about someone else. Would you do that for me?" She paused, her gaze pleading with him to let it go.
Tyler wanted to say yes. He wanted to promise her he wouldn't hurt her. He wanted to tell her there would never be a story. But she was asking him to choose between his brother and her, and he couldn't do that.
"Maybe you should go back to that place," he said finally. "Sometimes hindsight makes things clearer. Decisions you made can be reexamined."
Each word he spoke seemed to draw the blood from her face until she was a pale version of herself. Why? What had he said? Was she thinking about a decision she'd made -- maybe the decision to give up her baby?
She and Jeremy had been engaged to be married. If anyone was pregnant on that boat, it was probably Kate. Jeremy had died, leaving her alone. Had she felt her life was over? Had she chosen to give away her baby rather than be tormented by the memory of a family that could never be?
"Is there something you wish you'd done differently?" he asked.
For a moment he thought she might answer him, might tell him what he really wanted to know.
Her mouth trembled slightly. Her lips parted, then closed. She got to her feet. "I don't believe in looking back. It's a waste of time. The past is the past. I'm only interested in the present."
"Maybe someone else in your family will be more accommodating."
"There's no story, Tyler. Let it go."
"I can't," he said as he stood up, using his height to remind her that he was in charge of this situation.
She frowned, throwing back her shoulders and lifting up her chin, as if that could give her a few extra inches of courage. He found the gesture strangely appealing. He liked the way she didn't back down. In fact, he was liking way too much about her. He wished they had met under different circumstances. But, then again, different circumstances would not have brought them together.
"How much will this article pay you?" she asked abruptly.
"That depends on how good it is."
What if I paid you to stop writing it? What would you say to that?"
"I'd say you don't have