Summer Secrets - Barbara Freethy [50]
"But a decision that turned out to be disastrous."
Caroline nodded and for a moment silence fell between them. Then she said, "Can I ask you something, Tyler?"
"Sure."
"Do you think you can go back?"
"I don't think you can change the past, if that's what you mean."
"Can you change the memories? Can you ever forget things you want to forget?"
Tyler didn't have an answer to that question. He was surprised at the depth of emotion in her voice. His first impression of Caroline had been of a young, reckless woman, perhaps a little flaky, but she was as complicated as the rest of the McKenna clan.
"Never mind," she said. "I'll have to figure it out for myself. That's the problem with life. It's not really a spectator sport."
Maybe life wasn't meant to be a spectator sport, but watching Kate had certainly become Tyler's favorite pastime, he thought later that afternoon as he followed Kate's car up the hill leading away from town. He'd meant to catch her at her bookstore, but instead had found her pulling away from the curb in her Volkswagen. She hadn't seemed to notice his car behind hers. If she had, she probably would have tried to dodge him.
His eyes narrowed as she veered away from the street leading to her house. Where was she headed? Neither Ashley nor Caroline lived in this direction. A few blocks later he had his answer when she pulled up in front of two stone gates with a sign that read CASTLETON CEMETERY. She drove through the gates as if she knew exactly where she was going, and Tyler had the terrible feeling he also knew exactly where she was headed.
*
Kate's stomach began to churn as she drove up the quiet, winding road that led through the cemetery. She hadn't been here in a while. For years she'd come once a week, sometimes two or three times, but lately her visits had dwindled. Caroline would have said, Thank heavens, you're finally getting on with your life. Ashley would have said, It's okay to let go. Jeremy would want you to stop being sad.
Had she stopped being sad?
Had she finally let go?
Obviously not completely, since she was here now. But she wasn't here because of Jeremy, but because of Tyler.
She hadn't been able to sleep last night, thinking about Tyler, about Jeremy, about her father. God, all these men; they were making her nuts.
Stopping in front of a familiar tree, she turned off the engine and sat for a moment. then she got out of the car and walked onto the grass. She knelt down by the headstone and read it for the thousandth time, tracing the letters of Jeremy's name with her fingers.
Jeremy had been a loving son and brother as the headstone read, but he'd been so much more: adventurous, carefree, bold, confident, a man who'd loved the sea, loved life, loved her.
If only she'd done things differently.
How many times had that thought gone through her mind?
Kate sat back on her heels. It was peaceful here, quiet. Jeremy would not have liked it at all. He was a man of action, a man of the water. His dreams had always taken him to the farthest ends of the earth. She'd gone along with him in most of those dreams. He'd made the future sound wonderful. They'd travel for years, see everything they could see. They'd climb pyramids, visit holy temples, hike through rain forests, and when they were done -- they'd have kids.
She'd tried to tell him that they would need to make plans, do research, work within a budget. He'd only laughed and told her she worried too much, and she supposed she did. But her worry and his daring had made for a nice balance.
It didn't matter that their dreams now seemed so foolish, so ridiculously young. Maybe they wouldn't have accomplished everything Jeremy wanted them to do, but Kate knew they would have still loved each other. Their connection had been deep and emotional. They'd grown up together, shared an abiding friendship. Jeremy had held her in his arms when her mother died. He'd helped her through the worst experience of her life. And he'd been