Summer Secrets - Barbara Freethy [54]
Ashley stared at her younger sister in surprise. She obviously didn't know as much about men as her sister did. "I never meant to imply that I thought he was a wimp or a coward or incapable. I just want him to be safe."
"I'm beginning to think being safe is highly overrated." Caroline leaned forward, an odd look in her eyes. "Don't you miss it, Ash? Don't you feel like the years we were racing were the most thrilling years of our life? Look at us now, traveling the same few blocks day after day, seeing the same people, doing the same things at the same time. Don't you ever get bored with this island? Don't you ever want more?"
Did she want more? Was that why there was an ache in her body that never went away, a yearning for something she couldn't have? "Sometimes," she muttered. "But that's beside the point."
"Which is what?"
"Sean and the Castleton."
"It's not your problem. So what if he races? You two aren't a couple anymore. And, look at it this way: He'll be gone. Won't that be easier for you?"
Easier in some ways, harder in others. Since he'd come back to town she'd been intensely aware of his presence on the island, and she'd realized how much energy he brought into her world. Her life was like a black-and-white photograph that burst into full color with Sean's arrival. Seeing him, talking to him, getting so close she could touch him, had aroused all the old buried feelings. It would be easier if he left, but she'd miss him again. She'd go through that whole horrible cycle that she'd gone through the last few times he'd come and gone. It was exhausting -- this love she had for him, a love that could never be. Maybe that's why she had told him about Jeremy. She'd needed another barrier, another wall to throw up between them.
"I told Sean that I kissed Jeremy," she said abruptly.
"You did what?" Caroline echoed.
"You heard me."
"Why would you tell him that?"
"I wanted to make sure it was really over. I wanted to put something between us that he couldn't forgive."
Caroline muttered something under her breath, then popped a fry in her mouth.
"He just got up and left after I said it," Ashley continued. "Not a word, not a question; he just walked away."
"That was a stupid thing to do," Caroline said flatly. "Because when Sean gets over the shock of it all, he might just come back and ask you where the hell you were when you kissed his brother. Then what are you going to say?"
"I know. I keep screwing things up." She shook her head, feeling frustrated and annoyed with herself. "I just want him gone. I want to get back to my normal little life."
"Then you shouldn't be trying to talk him out of racing."
"But I don't want him to race, Caroline. I don't want him to get hurt. Even though we're not together anymore, I still care about him. I don't want to spend the next few weeks worrying about every storm hitting the Pacific between here and --" Her words were cut off by Caroline's sudden gasp. "What's wrong now?"
"Look," Caroline said, pointing to something in the distance. "Look there, out on the water."
Ashley followed her sister's gaze and her stomach did a flip-flop as a boat sailed into the harbor. "The Moon Dancer," she breathed. "She's back."
"So, this is the backyard," Tyler mused as he stood in the middle of Kate's overflowing garden.
"This is it," Kate said with a smile and handed him a pair of garden gloves. "You'll need these."
"For what?"
"Weeding, deadheading, planting."
He looked at her as if she were speaking another language, and she couldn't help but laugh, pleased to have thrown him off balance for a change.
"Excuse me?"
"We're going to garden, Tyler. You said you wanted to do whatever I was doing. This is what I'm doing." She led him over to the rose bushes that lined the fence