Summer Secrets - Barbara Freethy [73]
"You stayed all night? I thought you'd left."
"I slept on the couch. I didn't want to leave you alone in case you decided to take a midnight sail to the mainland.
She flushed, embarrassment in her eyes. "I'm sorry I was such a basket case last night. You must think I'm nuts."
"I think something is bothering you. Would you tell me what it is?"
She looked at him with her heart in her eyes, and he saw the indecision there, the hesitancy. She wanted to talk but something was stopping her.
"Is it your family? One of your sisters? Your father?" he prodded.
Ashley shook her head. "I'm all right. You should go now."
"You know the reason I came here last night was to talk to you about Jeremy," he said, changing the subject.
She pulled the sheet up over her chest, twisting the material with her fingers. "Right."
"Just tell me one thing. Did you break up with me eight years ago because of this kiss between you and my brother?"
"Not exactly."
"So that wasn't the reason? Then, just out of curiosity, why do you think I would care about a kiss that happened eight years ago, even if it was my brother? Or was it just one more brick to throw at my head to remind me that you never wanted me as much as I wanted you?" He hated to think she would deliberately hurt him like that, but he couldn't discount the possibility."
"No, I didn't say it to hurt you, Sean."
"Then why say it at all? What possible difference could it make now?"
"Maybe I just wanted you to see me for who I really am."
He stared at her for a long moment, absorbing the pain in her eyes. "Do you even know who you are, Ash?"
"I know I'm not that girl you put on a pedestal all those years ago. I've made a lot of mistakes over the years. Kissing Jeremy was just one example. I betrayed you. I betrayed my sister. And I did it out of spite and annoyance and loneliness, and I don't know what else. I hated that race, Sean. It turned my family inside out. My father became this monster competitor, and Kate and Caroline and I got caught up in it, too. When the storms came that summer, it was only a reflection of how messed up I felt inside." She paused. "I'd get this feeling in my body, like claustrophobia. The walls would close in on me. I couldn't focus. The world was spinning, and the air was too thick to breathe. I'd do anything to stop the feeling."
"And Jeremy was part of that anything?" Sean saw the apology in her eyes even before he heard the words.
"Yes."
"Did it ever go further than a kiss?"
"No, absolutely not."
He nodded, insanely relieved. It would have been hard to accept Ashley and Jeremy together under any circumstances: even though it had happened years ago. "So, what's next, Ash? What else do you have to tell me?"
"N-nothing," she stuttered. "That's it."
He didn't believe her, but maybe there had been enough revelations for one morning. "Why don't you get dressed and come with me today?"
"With you where?"
"Wherever we want to go."
She smiled, and all the years, all the anger, all the silence faded away. "You always used to say that."
"Then we'd hop on our bikes and take off down the hill, remember?"
"Of course I remember. I beat you down the hill every single time," she boasted.
"That's because your foot never touched the brake. I can still see your hair flying out behind you."
Her smile turned sad. "God, Sean, where did that girl go?"
"I don't know, but maybe we can find her again. Do you want to try?"
"More than you know."
Chapter Thirteen
It was a couple of miles to Miramar Point, but Kate made quick time on her bike, finding a spot on a bluff overlooking the Sound that gave her an excellent view of the sailboats competing below.
There were a few other locals with binoculars in hand. One of those locals looked distinctly familiar, wearing a bright red sweater that Kate recognized as the one Caroline had borrowed a month ago from her and never returned. Her sister sat