Supercoach - Michael Neill [12]
Why does all this matter? Because if you’re watching a film you don’t really enjoy, you’re unlikely to try to change it by getting into a prolonged debate with the characters on the screen about it. If you do, you probably don’t expect them to respond in turn.
But when it comes to the movie of our lives, the first place most of us go to change things is right up to the screen. We spend all our time and money and energy trying to change our experience on the outside, not realizing that the whole thing is being projected from the inside out.
So how do we change things if we don’t like the movie? By making up a different one!
I’ve been a student of thought and the art and science of make-believe since that performance of West Side Story all those years ago, and here are two of the most important things I’ve learned:
1. What you believe tends to become true for you. Unlike road maps, which must accurately reflect the territory they describe in order to be of use, our mental maps actually re-create the territory as they’re describing it. Since these maps often become self-fulfilling prophecies, we can change our experience of the world (and ultimately the world itself) by changing the way we choose to see it.
In other words:
Over time, the map becomes the territory.
If you see the world as a friendly place, you’ll tend to notice the ways in which things work out for the best. Because you’re looking for “friendly” things to happen, you’re that much more likely to find them. At times, you may even create them with your intention and your actions.
2. You can make believe anything. In order to make believe something is true, you simply tell yourself that it’s true, collect evidence that supports your story, and then act accordingly. In this way it’s possible to make believe absolutely anything. (If you find this difficult to believe, look up the cautionary tale of Marian Keech or the modern-day Flat Earth Society.)
So, instead of always trying to align your beliefs with “reality,” it’s possible to align your beliefs with what you most want to create in your life. And when you consistently make believe in what you want, you can begin to create some pretty unbelievable results!
Here’s a Level I coaching exercise that can lead to some wonderful Level III insights. . . .
Changing the Movie of Your Life
1. Write down your top three goals in any area of your life.
2. For each one, write out some things that it would be useful to “make believe” were true. For example:
Goal: “To be the top-performing salesperson at my company.”
Make-believes:
• “Selling is easy and fun for me.”
• “The more people I speak with, the easier it is for me to sell.”
• “Learning to sell will make me a more spiritual person.”
Goal: “To be blissfully married to the perfect person for me.”
Make-believes:
• “There are a number of people who could be the perfect person for me.”
• “I am a great catch!”
• “The more I am attracted to others, the more attractive I will be to them.”
Remember, the idea here isn’t to find what you currently believe to be true, just anything you think would be useful if you did believe it.
3. Actively make believe what you want by doing any or all of the following exercises:
a. Tell yourself that it’s true. You can accelerate the effect of this by simply repeating the statement again and again in a physiology of certainty. To do this, tell yourself something you know to be true— for instance, “Today is _____, and my name is _____,” and then repeat your new make-believe in exactly the same tone of voice and holding your body in exactly the same way. It may take a few tries (or even a few hundred!), but when you can totally match the voice tone and physiology, you’ll notice your new make-believe actually “feels” truer.
b. Gather evidence that it’s true. Plug each make-believe on your list into the following format and fill in the blanks as many times as you can:
“I know this is true for me because _____;