Supercoach - Michael Neill [23]
John didn’t find it remotely funny, but I could tell that it triggered some sort of insight inside him. Before our next session, he sent me this quote attributed to the comedienne Lily Tomlin:
“The trouble with the rat race is that even
if you win, you’re still a rat.”
A Backward View of Moving Forward
“Man is only truly great when he acts from passion.”
— from Coningsby, by Benjamin Disraeli
passion (n):
a: ardent affection : love
b: a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some
activity, object, or concept
When I was at drama school in London, a number of successful actors and actresses came to speak to us about what life was like “in the real world.” It used to always bother me that so few of them seemed to have followed the rules of written goal setting I kept reading about in my ever-expanding collection of books on how to succeed.
One of the most profound memories I carry from that time was when award-winning actress Rosemary Harris (best known for either Boys from Brazil or being Spider-Man’s aunt, depending on your generation) took the stage. When asked what sort of steps she’d taken to build her career—one that had spanned theater, film, television, and more decades than she probably cared to remember—she said, to our surprise, “I’ve never had a career—or rather, I’ve only ever had a career backwards.”
When we asked her to explain, she told us that, rather like climbing a mountain, she only ever paid attention to what was in front of her, making her decisions according to what opportunities were available to her at that moment and what she felt she would most enjoy doing. It was only at times like this, when she stepped back to look at her life from the outside in, that she realized she was having what most people would call a “career.”
Inspired by Ms. Harris, when I first introduce this idea to my clients, I often ask them to participate in the following thought experiment:
Give Up Your Career Today!
1. If you could just give up your career today, what would you want to do with your time over the next month? The next year? (Remember, it’s okay if what you would want to do is in exactly the same area as your former career!)
2. If you weren’t trying to get anywhere, what would you want to do with your time?
3. If you decided to make your working decisions based on your highest passions, values, and desires, what would you choose to work on next?
Rather than downshifting their careers or downsizing their lifestyles, I find that when people “give up” on getting anywhere and focus instead on living their passion, doing more of what they love and want to do, they wind up working more consistently and more passionately than they ever did when pursuing their so-called career.
Of course, if you have no idea what you’re passionate about, that can be a pretty daunting thought. So grab a notebook and a piece of paper—you’re going to make two lists.
Label the first “Things That Energize Me.” Label the second “Things That Drain Me.”
Over the course of today and the rest of the week, fill in the two lists to the best of your ability. See if you can come up with at least ten items on each one.
Example:
Before your list is even complete, look for opportunities to do more of the things on your “energizer” list and to eliminate, avoid, or reduce the amount of time spent on things on your “energy drain” list. This will cause an immediate increase in your day-to-day energy levels, and before you know it, you’ll find yourself feeling more positive, enthusiastic, and hopeful!
But What If I Love Setting Goals?
“Give me a stock clerk with a goal and
I’ll give you a man who will make history.
Give me a man with no goals and
I’ll give you a stock clerk.”
— J. C. Penney
One of the most famous studies to support the value of goal setting as