Supercoach - Michael Neill [41]
Unconditional Happiness
One of the most comforting things for me is knowing that regardless of what’s going on in my thoughts and my life, a deeper feeling is always available to me. Gratitude, compassion, and love are examples of these deeper feelings—deeper because they don’t necessarily go up or down depending on what’s happening around you.
When your mood is low (or even when it’s not), you can reconnect to your higher wisdom by simply tuning in to the deepest, most wonderfully unconditional feeling you can find and hanging out in it as best you can.
Here’s one last exercise you can do in letting go of thoughts and moving up the scale of emotions:
Creating above the Line
1. Write down three things you want in your life—one personal, one relational, and one financial.
For example:
• “I want to be a size _____.”
• “I want to get along better with my partner/kids.”
• “I want to double my income next year.”
2. Now, rewrite these wants in terms of “creating”— that is, “I am creating . . .” or “I am creating myself as . . .” If the rest of the want changes as a result, that’s okay, too. Notice where you are on the scale of emotions when you think about your new goal statement.
For example:
• “I am creating myself as a size _____.” (anger)
• “I am creating a wonderful relationship with my partner/kids.” (grief)
• “I am creating double my old income in the next 12 months.” (lust)
3. Choose one creation to work with. Really focus on what you’re feeling as you think about having it. When you’ve got hold of the feeling, ask yourself Lester Levenson’s “releasing question”: Could I let go of wanting to change this?
Stay with the question until you sense a release or letting go happening. If your answer is “no,” ask yourself if you could let go of wanting to change your answer!
4. Every time you’re able to let go of even a little bit of wanting to change, tune back in to your goal and your feelings. Carry on until you feel courageousness, acceptance, or peace in relation to it!
In a nutshell:
• Every emotion you experience is a direct response to a thought, not to the world around you.
• Your day doesn’t create your moods; your mood creates your day.
• Urgency is nearly always a signal to slow down and/or take a break.
• Could you let go of wanting to change this?
If you’re feeling desperate to move on to the next session, now would be a great time to take a little break. Slow down and smell the roses, or the cheese, or whatever it is you like to smell.
When you’re feeling as though you could take it or leave it, it’s probably time to begin. . . .
SESSION SIX
Have an Average Day
“There is chaos under the heavens,
and the situation is excellent.”
— Chinese proverb
The General and the CEO
A four-star general was taking a tour of the company that had been hired by the military to complete a major defense contract.
Despite the CEO’s assurance that this particular project would be completed on time, the general felt that the CEO’s team was not 100 percent committed to getting the job done. He argued that they should remain at work and do “whatever it takes” to succeed, even if it meant working much longer hours, taking extra time away from home and family, and putting themselves under additional personal pressure and stress. He told the CEO that understanding personnel management was like eating bacon and eggs for breakfast: the chicken was “involved”; the pig was “committed.”
The contractor smiled and said, “Well, that’s true, General—but the pig is dead, and the chicken is still producing eggs. I want my people to stay ‘involved.’”
The general backed down, and the project was completed on time.
In Praise of “Average”
I was talking to the supercoach Steve Chandler once when he said to me, “Have an average day!” A bit taken aback, I asked him what he meant. After all, isn’t the idea to have “great” days, or even “exceptional” ones?
He then told me the story of one of his mentors,