Supercoach - Michael Neill [43]
• Being a mom: Spending at least half an hour before and half an hour after school focused 100 percent on being with the kids
3. Project forward into the future—if you did nothing but repeat your “average day” five days a week, how much of a difference would you have made in three months? A year? Five years? A lifetime? For example:
— “Writing for 100 or so hours in a six-month period would probably be enough to complete an entire book; 200 hours a year would be enough to add some poetry and a screenplay. Writing more than 1,000 hours during a five-year period would make me prolific.”
— “Speaking to more than 100 people a month about the difference I could make for them would definitely lead to some sales; more than 1,200 difference-making conversations a year would lead to numerous sales (and an incredible amount of skill development); more than 6,000 difference-making conversations in a five-year period would make me rich!”
— “Spending at least an hour and a half a day with my kids seven days a week would be more than 125 hours in three months, which would be more than enough time to really get to know them and tune in to their wants and needs; 500-plus focused hours of time spent with my children over the course of a year would create an incredible level of friendly intimacy and positive familiarity; if I made even a tiny difference in each one of nearly 3,000 hours over a five-year period, the impact on their lives and the sense of meaning in mine would be anything but average!”
4. Do three small things today that make a positive difference on a project you’re working on or a direction you’re moving toward. Repeat daily for as long as you like!
Slow Down to Get More Done
“Be quick, but don’t hurry.”
— John Wooden
When we take the pressure off ourselves to be exceptional—that is, be the exception to the rule—we recognize that “good enough” is nearly always good enough and that no matter how hard we try, we’ll never really be able to do more than one thing at any given time.
Relax and Smile!
Whenever you’re feeling that everything is spinning out of control, it’s time to take a little break and slow down! Lower your standards, stop trying to be the exception to the rule that things take time and people aren’t always at their best, and give yourself some space and time.
As the sign outside Logan Airport in Boston read for nearly seven years:
“Rome wasn’t built in a day. If it had been,
we would’ve used their contractors.”
This doesn’t mean we have to always go slowly—just that when we’re willing to slow down, we’re often able to make much quicker progress on what matters most in our lives.
Several years ago, I had child psychologist and author Alfie Kohn as a guest on my radio show. At one point, I asked him if he had any tips on how to be a more caring and effective parent when you were in a hurry. His answer, tongue only slightly in cheek, was: “Don’t be in a hurry.”
While I laughed at the time, the more I thought about it, the more I realized what excellent advice that was, not only for parenting but for pretty much any area of our lives. When we’re in a hurry, we tend to get sloppy and things are left undone or, worse still, half done. Our best intentions often go out the window and our values shift, with “expediency” and “getting stuff done” leapfrogging their way up the list above such old-fashioned priorities as “treating people with respect,” “getting things right the first time,” and even “enjoying the process.”
Stress is a hurrier’s constant companion, as there’s never enough time and there’s always too much to do. When time gets short, tempers get shorter, and a frayed nerve often snaps in the face of a loved one.
While you can find any number of “outside-in” approaches to getting more done with less stress (and I’ll share my very favorite one at the end of the session), effective time management evolves naturally out of an understanding of the sixth secret:
No matter what seems to be going on in
your life, you don’t have to do anything.
“That’s