Survivors - Jean Lorrah [103]
Frightening?
The starbase computer could not be frightened. It was Data’s fear-a memory from his past.
Priam IV!
It was the most terrifying thing he had had to do in order to become a candidate for graduation from Starfleet Academy. All cadets had to pass the test, but there was no way to fool an android into believing the situation was real … except to alter his perceptions.
There had been no projections in a holodeck for Data, no Starfleet test personnel acting roles in his psychodrama. Rather, he had permitted, in fact aided, Starfleet’s most skilled computer experts to block his awareness of where he truly was, and place the Priam IV scenario directly into his personal consciousness. His most vivid memories of the test did not stem from the scenario itself, although it had certainly been frustrating enough while he thought himself living it. No, the horrifying parts for Data had come before and after the test, when he felt his mental control taken from him, albeit with his permission and cooperation, and later, unexpectedly, when his consciousness was restored.
It had taken him days to reconcile the true and false memories occupying the same space and time in his awareness. It was not only illogical, it was a flat impossibility, something the mind of a sentient android was not designed to accept. He knew why his mind contained the two sets of memories-himself lying still in a Starfleet laboratory while technicians monitored his body to be certain nothing malfunctioned, and himself on Priam IV coping with the Prime Directive in a no-win scenario. However, knowing why did not make it easier to live with the sense of paradox.
As it was the Priam IV scenario he was intended to remember, he finally put an access-denial command on his true condition during that time, and it stopped surfacing to disturb him. Still, like everything else he had ever experienced, the memories were available should he lift the prohibition.
What he felt in the Starbase 36 computer was similar: two conflicting sets of memories occupying the same space-time, one set resident, the other restrained by an access-denial command. The starbase computer had no consciousness to be disturbed by the paradox. It was also incapable of removing the command, even though it had created it when the operator who had changed the files “deleted” the originals.
Data tried various utilities, but whoever had done this piece of programming knew every method for covering his tracks. Not surprisingly, the android could not lift the prohibition by any means available to purely organic programmers. He would have to interface directly with the starbase computer’s memory.
Determinedly, Data let his consciousness merge with the computer memory, and reached to access the hidden files. Paradox awakened fear, but he set it firmly aside, seeking, seeking—
The prohibition held. He was perceived as an outside force, like any user of the computer. What was deleted was not accessible to him.
Unless he could persuade the computer he was part of it.
He had begun this search for Tasha’s sake, but now his own curiosity was aroused. He knew that the information had been tampered with. If he could just maintain his self-awareness, he should be able to access the hidden files and emerge unharmed. Letting go all but the most tenuous link with his body on board the Enterprise, Data became one with the non-sentient mass of-Conflicting information!
Not merely the memories he was seeking, but everything ever entered or deleted from the Starbase 36 computer bombarded him. With no judgment to assert priorities, the files in the virtual memory free-associated in overwhelming abundance, overpowering Data’s own memories, assaulting his consciousness! Drowning in paradox, he fought for control, struggled to impose the order of his self-awareness on the uncaring chaos dragging him toward annihilation.
Weak-kneed and fighting back tears, Tasha Yar approached the brig for the first time since she had forced Darryl Adin to beam aboard.
He was wearing a gold standard-issue