Survivors - Jean Lorrah [20]
“You could not, in the time we gave you, with the information you had,” T’Pelak assured her. “You would have failed, Cadet, if you had been certain that you knew the right course to take.”
“You mean any decision would have been wrong?” she asked in amazement.
“No, not any decision,” replied Commander Erdman, one of the “scientists.”“Only a hasty decision, an uninformed one, or one which you made without strong reservations. Had the situation been real, you would of course have had to make a decision eventually-but your instincts told you not to do so while you were injured and exhausted. We stopped the scenario at that point because we had all the information we needed. You passed, with a rating of excellent. Cadet Yar, you are now officially admitted to the graduating class.”
The interview broke up as the others congratulated her, but Yar was still dazed as she left the conference room. Dare followed her. “That was the last test,” he said. “What are you going to do now?”
“I have a week’s leave before the term begins. I think maybe I’ll sleep for most of it.”
He laughed. “Not much rest last night, eh? I’m sorry, Tasha-I wish I could have told you you’d passed the moment you said you couldn’t make up your mind. But you had to tell exactly what you felt this morning-and T’Pelak would’ve had my hide if she’d sensed I’d reassured you.”
“It’s not you I’m confused about,” said Yar. “Of course you couldn’t tell me. What I don’t understand is the test. What good is a security officer who can’t act?”
“The same good as one who goes off half-cocked, which I expect you’ve done a few times in your training?”
She nodded ruefully. “Oh, yes-my most frequent mistake.”
“Well, now-in most situations you can correct for such an error even after it’s made. What you have just proved, Tasha, is that when there is no chance to change things once you’ve acted, you don’t jump the gun. You think it out.”
“But what if it had been real?”
“What if it had been?” he threw the question back at her.
Finally, under the penetrating gaze of those warm brown eyes, she was able to think past the frustration of sitting there in the jungle, mud-covered and in pain, unable to make a move. Had it been real …
“I guess … no, I know, I’d find food and shelter, and think about it some more while my wrist healed and I kept out of the way of the traitors, who’d be trying to kill me. If they didn’t succeed, I’d probably watch the natives for a while, and then make up my mind.”
“That’s my clever girl,” he told her. “Survive, survey, and only then act. Now do you understand why I’m so proud to have had a hand in bringing you into Starfleet?”
As her final term proceeded, what Tasha Yar sensed from Darryl Adin was a paternal pride in her achievements. It pleased her for a time, but then slowly she began to find it disturbing.
They had two classes together, Advanced Security Techniques, seminar and practicum. In the classroom Yar was, as usual, the star pupil. Dare took notes, provided information from personal experience when the instructor requested, but did not volunteer. Yar was astonished to discover at midterm that she was still first in the class. Darryl Adin was second.
“Why?” she asked. “No one would mind if you spoke up in class more. And you know I enjoy it when you challenge me-you certainly do in the practicum!”
Dare explained, “That’s not it, Tasha. You young people need to discuss the theories until you understand them thoroughly. Commander Zarsh knows I’ve been through that part; I can learn the new material without taking up time you cadets need.”
“Then why is my average three points higher than yours?” she demanded. “You’re the experienced officer, you ought to outscore any cadet.”
He laughed. “I could if all the tests were objective. It’s the essays, Tasha-I simply can’t write as well as you do. Which I suppose I ought to be ashamed of,” he added with a twinkle that showed he hadn’t a bit of shame about