Survivors - Jean Lorrah [36]
Yar was still in her uniform, as she had come here directly from her watch, which had been spent at the boring but necessary task of weapons inventory. Surprisingly, she had found seven phasers out of order, and sent them to Maintenance.
Dare watched her for a few moments, his eyes dark and unreadable in the soft cabin lighting. His golden brown hair had the soft and fluffy look of being freshly washed. Unparted, it spilled over his forehead like a young boy’s, softening his harsh features. What Yar really wanted to do was sit beside him and run her fingers through it, then let him make her forget everything except the two of them. But something held her in her chair-perhaps his piercing stare.
Finally Dare said, “Are you angry with me, Tasha?”
“I don’t know.”
“That sounds like an honest answer. But you are angry.”
“Don’t play Ship’s Counselor, Dare. You’re no more qualified than I am.”
His eyes widened, and his mouth quirked in an apologetic smile. He was beautiful to her in such moments, when his features softened. “So that’s it. I’m sorry, Tasha. You thought I was playing games with your feelings this afternoon.”
“Weren’t you?”
“No. And yes.”
“That doesn’t sound like an honest answer.”
“Yes, inasmuch as I wanted to break your nervous tension and call up your competitive spirit-as I should try to do for anyone in that situation. No, inasmuch as even though I used my right to touch you-” he smiled again “- my desire to touch you-it was individual without being personal.”
“What?”
“I encouraged you to use disciplines you have already conquered. Tasha, it’s little wonder you anger easily, considering your early life. But you have learned to turn that anger to positive use-and I had nothing to do with that. When I left you on Earth, you were a primed rocket, ready to go off in any direction, on any excuse. When I returned, I found a strong, beautiful young woman who can be relied on to act wisely.”
“That’s not what my instructors said,” Yar pointed out.
“Style, Tasha, that’s all. Your style is to act quickly. So is mine. We’re both survivors, love. That’s why we make such a good team.”
“I thought opposites were supposed to attract.”
“Well, now-I think we have enough differences to make life interesting,” he replied in his sexiest voice.
Yar could not help laughing. Dare could always break through her defenses. No wonder she loved him! She left her chair for the warmth of his waiting arms.
Darryl Adin might be competitive in every other area of life, but he was most generous in their intimacy, giving Yar the tenderness and caring she so desperately needed. He was her first love and first lover, for although the years of counseling she had received through Starfleet had rid her of the fear and distrust of men she had carried from her life on New Paris, she had never gone beyond friendship with any man before Dare reappeared in her life.
It was incredible now to think that when he first rescued her she had cynically expected him to use her. She had been both drawn to him and terrified of him, her apprehension increasing as their journey progressed and she was cleansed, given proper nutrition, her teeth repaired. She feared that by the time she met his standards she would owe him whatever he wanted because she had accepted it all, including a great deal of his personal attention.
Finally, unable to stand the suspense any longer, when he dismissed her one evening after a lesson in arithmetic she had blurted out, “When’re ya gonna do it, then? When do I start payin’ fer the clothes, the medicine, the lessons? Ain’t I good enough for ya yet, clean enough, smart enough?”
And he had looked at her with such bewilderment, his expressive eyes so openly puzzled that for the first time she knew, actually believed, that he expected no payment at all.
Even as she was assimilating that, he realized what she meant, what fears she had been hiding, and his mouth opened in horror and pity. “Oh, Tasha,” he whispered. “Oh, child-no! Nobody’s going to