Sushi for Beginners - Marian Keyes [155]
However, the required words of comfort didn’t issue from Clodagh. Instead she said sleepily, ‘I’ll go and see Marcus if you like.’
‘No, I didn’t mean…’
‘I can go with Ted.’ Clodagh’s tone woke up, as the idea became a possibility. ‘Ted and I will go instead of you, and we’ll provide moral support.’
This made Ashling feel much worse. She did not want Clodagh and Ted bonding. ‘But what about Dylan?’
‘Someone has to babysit.’
‘I don’t even want to visit my parents,’ Ashling repeated, keen to get her quota of sympathy.
‘But your mum’s much better now. It’ll be fine.’
There’s no one in charge here, nine-year-old Ashling had realized, before the end of that strange, horrible summer. She took to standing on the corner at the bottom of the road on Friday evenings, looking into the distance for her dad’s car, a churny sickness in her belly. While she waited, she muffled the terror that he would never come by playing games with herself. If the next car is a red one, everything’s going to he fine. If the second car’s reg plate ends with an even number, it’ll all he OK.
Eventually the Monday morning came when she asked her father not to leave.
‘I have to.’ He was terse. ‘If I lose my job, I don’t know how we’ll manage. Do your best to keep an eye on her.’
Ashling nodded gravely, and thought to herself, He shouldn’t have said that to me, I’m only a little girl
‘… Of course, Ashling’s very responsible. Only nine, but very grown-up for her age.’
There was muttered talk amongst the adults. People came to the house, conversed in low tones and fell silent whenever Ashling came near. ‘… his parents are elderly, they couldn’t cope with three lively children…’ Strange new words began to be mentioned. Depression. Nerves. Breakdown. Talk of her mother ‘going in someplace’.
Eventually her mother did ‘go in’, and her dad had to take them with him, as he worked. They drove long distances, car-sick and bored, Janet and Owen sharing the back seat with a display vacuum-cleaner. Ashling sat in the front like an adult as they criss-crossed the country, stopping at small electrical shops in small towns. From the very first appointment she absorbed Mike’s anxiety.
‘Wish me luck,’ he said, as he grabbed his folder of brochures. ‘This fellow wouldn’t spend Christmas. And don’t touch anything.’
Through the car window, Ashling watched her father greet his customer on the forecourt, and saw him mutate from irritable and worried to carefree and chatty. Suddenly he had all the time in the world for a chinwag. Never mind that he still had eight more calls to make that day and was way behind schedule due to their late start. Over he went to admire the man’s new car. A lot of leaning back, inspecting from all angles and congratulatory shoulder-slapping. As he talked animatedly to his customer, full of smiles and good-natured slagging, Ashling was visited with an awareness that she was much too young for. This is hard for him.
As soon as Mike got back into the car, the airy smiles dissolved and he changed back to being abrupt.
‘Did he order stuff, Dad?’
‘No.’ Mouth tight, reversing fast, getting the car back on the road, screeching to his next appointment.
Sometimes people ordered goods, but it was never as much as he’d hoped, and every time he climbed back into the car and drove away, he seemed further diminished.
By the end of the week, Janet and Owen were crying almost constantly, agitating to go home. And Ashling had managed to pick up an ear infection. Something which continued to recur at times of stress throughout