Sushi for Beginners - Marian Keyes [188]
The light in the room changed as he stood up.
‘Hi,’ Ashling said. ‘I’m sorry for missing today and yesterday.’
‘I only came to see how you are, not to hustle you back to work.’
Then Ashling remembered. Jack had been unexpectedly gentle and kind after Dylan had delivered his terrible news.
‘I’ll try and come in tomorrow,’ she offered. There was as much chance that she’d climb Kilimanjaro.
‘Why don’t you take the week?’ he suggested. ‘Try and come back on Monday?’
‘OK. Thanks.’ The relief that she didn’t have to attempt to face the world was so great that she didn’t even argue. ‘My mother is coming to stay for a few days. If anything will drive me back to work, that will, I’m sure.’
‘Oh yes?’ Jack’s smile was empathetic. ‘You’ll have to tell me all about it sometime.’
‘Yes.’ She couldn’t imagine having the energy to even tell the time.
‘And how are you now?’ he asked.
She hesitated. It wasn’t exactly the kind of thing you discuss with your boss, but fuck it, what did it matter? What did anything matter? ‘I feel very sad.’
‘That’s to be expected. The end of a relationship, the loss of a friendship.’
‘But it’s more than that.’ She was trying to make sense of her overwhelming grief. ‘I feel a sadness about the whole world.’
She watched Jack. Did he think she was a nutter?
‘Go on,’ he urged gently.
‘All I can see is the sad stuff. And it’s everywhere. We’re the walking wounded, the entire human race.’
‘Weltschmerz,’ he said.
‘Bless you,’ she said absently.
‘No,’ he laughed softly. ‘Weltschmerz. It’s German for “world sadness”.’
‘There’s a word for this?’
She knew she wasn’t the first person to feel like this. She knew her mother had too. But if a word had actually been invented to describe the feeling, lots of others must have felt it. It was a comfort. Jack rustled a white paper bag. ‘I, ah, brought you something.’
‘What? Tissues? I could open a shop. Or grapes? I’m not sick. Just, just… humiliated.’
‘No, it’s… well, actually it’s sushi.’
She paused, stung. ‘Are you having a laugh?’
‘No! It’s just that you seemed interested when we got it in the office.’ When Ashling remained mute he laboured on, ‘I thought you might enjoy it. There’s nothing scary, not even raw fish. It’s mostly vegetarian – cucumber, avocado, a little bit of crab. A sushi-for-beginners kit. I could take you through it…’
But at Ashling’s suspicious expression he backed off. ‘Ehm, fine, I’ll just leave you to it then. Hope you feel better. See you on Monday.’
After he’d gone Ted and Joy appeared in the living-room.
‘What’s in the bag?’
‘Sushi.’
‘Sushi! That’s a weird thing to bring.’
They circled the white paper bag warily, as if it was radioactive.
‘Will we take a look?’ Ted eventually asked.
At Ashling’s, ‘’f you want,’ he slid out the lacquered black box and stared, fascinated, at the little rice rolls arrayed in pretty ranks.
‘I didn’t think it would look like this,’ Joy remarked.
‘And what are all these other things?’ Ted poked at a silver sachet.
‘Soy sauce,’ Ashling said uninterestedly.
‘And this?’ Ted peeled the lid off a short styrofoam container.
‘Pickled ginger.’
‘And this?’ He indicated a mound of green putty.
‘I forget what it’s called,’ Ashling admitted sullenly, ‘but it’s hot.’
After more time was spent in cautious exploration, Ted took the bull by the horns. ‘I’m going to try some.’
Ashling shrugged.
‘This looks like a cucumber one.’ He popped it into his mouth. ‘Now I’ll cleanse my palate with a slice of ginger, then I’ll –’
‘That’s not how you do it,’ Ashling said irritably.
‘Well, show me then.’
58
The gentle knock on her window made Clodagh jump to her feet. Happiness flooded through her. He was here. She flew to the front-door and opened it quietly.
‘The cock crows at dusk,’ Marcus said in a thick Russian accent.
‘Sssshhh.’ She put her finger to her lips in an exaggerated gesture but they were both bubbling over with laughter and delight.
‘Are they asleep?’ Marcus whispered.
‘They’re asleep.’
‘Halleluiah!’ He almost forgot the need for quiet. ‘Now I can have my wicked way with