Sushi for Beginners - Marian Keyes [28]
Lisa angrily shook her head, then wavered and passively let Ashling stick a cigarette in her mouth and light it for her.
‘If you want to fix your make-up,’ Ashling offered, ‘I’ve got moisturizer and mascara, it’s probably not as good as your usual stuff, but it’ll do.’ Already she was rummaging.
‘Did someone send you in here?’ Lisa was thinking of Jack Devine.
Ashling shook her head. ‘No one guessed but me.’
Lisa didn’t know whether or not to be disappointed. She didn’t want Jack to think she was wet, but it would be nice to know he cared…
‘I’m not usually like this.’ Lisa’s face was hard. ‘I don’t want it mentioned again.’
‘It’s forgotten.’
9
At the end of the first day Ashling was fit to collapse. Giddy with relief that she didn’t have to struggle on to a bus or a Dart, she staggered straight home. She was lucky. At least she had a home to go to, she realized – Lisa had to go out and hunt one down.
Ashling flung herself gratefully into her flat, kicked off her shoes and checked her answering machine. The red light winked lasciviously and joyously Ashling hit ‘play’. She was wild keen for company and connection, to help her process her strange, challenging day. But to her disappointment, all it was was a strange message from someone called Cormac, who would be delivering a ton of mulch on Friday morning. Wrong fecking number.
Bodysurfing the couch, she grabbed the phone and rang Clodagh. But as soon as she’d said hello, Clodagh launched into ‘I’m having the day from hell!’
Against a cacophony of yelling, she raised her voice and complained. ‘Craig has a pain in his tum-tums and all he had for breakfast was half a slice of toast and peanut butter. Then at lunch-time he wouldn’t eat a thing and I wondered if I should try him with a chocolate biscuit, even though he goes hyper every time he has sugar, so in the end I gave him a custard cream because I thought that would be slightly better than one with chocolate –’
‘Uh-huh,’ Ashling nodded sympathetically, as the howling all but drowned out Clodagh.
‘– which he ate, so I tried him with another but he just licked off the icing and though he doesn’t have a temperature he’s pale and SHUT UP! LET ME HAVE FIVE SECONDS ON THE PHONE, PLEASE. Oh, bloody hell, I can’t take much more of this!’
Clodagh’s plea was ragged and the screeching simply intensified.
‘Is that Craig?’ Ashling asked. It must be quite a stomach-ache. He sounded like he was being disembowelled.
‘No, it’s Molly.’
‘What’s up with her?’
Ashling was able to make out some words in all Molly’s bawling. Apparently, Mummy was mean. In fact, it seemed that Mummy was horrible. And Molly didn’t like Mummy. A particularly hysterical bout notified Ashling that Molly HATED Mummy.
‘I’m washing her security blanket,’ Clodagh said defensively. ‘It’s in the machine.’
‘Oh my good God.’
Molly went bananas whenever she was separated from her security blanket. It had once been a teatowel, before Molly’s incessant sucking had rotted it away to a smelly, brown-edged shapeless rag.
‘It was filthy,’ Clodagh said desperately. She turned away from the phone. ‘Molly,’ she beseeched. ‘It was dirty. Ugh, nasty, pah!’ Ashling listened patiently as Clodagh made spitting-yuck noises. ‘It was a health hazard, it would have made you sick.’
The wailing increased a couple of pegs and Clodagh came back on the line. ‘The old bitch at playgroup said Molly wouldn’t be allowed to bring it any more if it wasn’t washed regularly. What could I do? Anyway, I don’t think it’s appendicitis –’
It took Ashling a second to realize they were back to Craig.
‘– because he hasn’t puked and the family medical encyclopaedia says that’s a sure sign. But you think of everything, don’t you?’
‘I suppose,’ Ashling said doubtfully.
‘Measles, chicken-pox, meningitis, polio, e-coli,’ Clodagh reeled off miserably. ‘Hold on, Molly wants to sit on my knee. You can sit on Mummy’s knee if you promise to be quiet. Are you going to be quiet? Are you?’
But Molly was making no