Sushi for Beginners - Marian Keyes [40]
Safe in her flat, with the door slammed protectively behind her, she exhaled. There but for the grace of God go I, she thought. I could have ended up on the streets. And then she scolded herself for such melodrama. Things had never been that bad.
She flung her bags on the table and her shoes on the floor, wrecked after her day. And now she was expected to put on her party clothes and go out with Joy. She’d love not to. Being a thirty-something was like experiencing adolescence in reverse. Her body was changing and often she was struck by strange, sometimes shameful urges. Like wanting to stay in on her own on a Saturday night, with only a video and a tub of Ben and Jerry’s for company.
‘But you’ll never meet a man if you don’t go out,’ Joy regularly complained.
‘I do go out. Anyway, I’ve got Ben and Jerry. They’re the only men I need.’
But tonight she had to go out. For the first issue of Colleen, she and Joy were going to a salsa club to report on the chances of meeting men there. She’d never had to do anything of the sort for Woman s Place and there were times, like right now, when she dearly missed her old job. Not just because she’d never had to give up a Saturday night for her old job. But because she could have done her stuff in Woman’s Place in her sleep while her duties in Colleen still weren’t entirely clear. She feared she could be told to do anything and her stomach was twisted into a knot as she waited to be told to do something that she wasn’t able to. Ashling liked certainty and the only thing certain about working at Colleen was that she hadn’t a clue what was coming next.
Nerve-wracking!
Exciting, she corrected. And glamorous. And it was a great laugh working with so many new people – in her old job there had only been three other full-time staff. But then again, they’d all been sweethearts. No awkward types like Lisa or Jack Devine. But none as good fun as Trix or Kelvin either, she reminded herself firmly. Now was not the time to go all nostalgic and pathetic.
She stuck a bag of popcorn in the microwave, then flung herself on the couch, watched Blind Date and prayed for Joy not to come. She’d been up till six in the morning playing with Half-man-half-badger, perhaps she’d be too unwell to go out.
No chance.
Though she was more fragile than usual.
‘I’d like a cup of tea,’ she said, when she arrived. ‘Plenty of sugar.’
‘That bad?’
‘I’ve the shakes. Worth it, though. I’m mad about Half-man-half-badger, Ashling. But he was supposed to ring me today and – oh no, this milk tastes sour. Fuck! I bet I’m pregnant. In nine months’ time I’ll give birth to a half-baby-half-badger.’
‘No,’ Ashling said, looking into her cup in which little white flecks were floating. ‘I just think the milk is sour.’
Joy flung open the fridge and examined the four cartons of milk within, all of them past their use-by date. ‘What are you doing?’ she demanded. ‘Playing Russian Roulette with the milk? Running a yoghurt factory? And have you eaten?’
Ashling indicated the almost-empty bowl of popcorn.
‘You’re funny,’ Joy said. ‘In some ways you’re so organized, but in others…’
‘You can’t be good at everything. I’m well balanced.’
‘You should take better care of yourself.’
‘That’s like the dog calling the cat’s arse hairy!’
‘But you’ll get scurvy.’
‘I take vitamins. I’m fine. Where’s Ted?’
Ashling had barely seen Ted all week. Not only did they work in opposite directions now, so that he no longer gave her a backer to work, but since the owl triumph he’d been sampling his way through the girls who’d expressed interest in him. Though he’d annoyed the shite out of her when he’d been a constant fixture in her flat