Sushi for Beginners - Marian Keyes [84]
Brief though the message was, in the context of Dylan’s anxiety it made Ashling edgy.
‘Ashling,’ Clodagh spoke to the room, ‘can you call me? I want to talk to you about… something.’
25
On Tuesday morning when a glittery-faced Trix clattered into the office in her plastic platforms, she was accompanied by a faint but unmistakable smell of fish. Ashling noticed it the moment she arrived, then every subsequent arrival began sniffing in alarm as soon as they came through the door. Pointing it out to Trix was, however, a little awkward, and the matter remained unaddressed until the arrival of Kelvin. After all, he was a twenty-something lad and vulgarity was his currency.
‘Trix, you smell of what I can only hope is fish.’
‘It is fish.’
‘Might we ask why?’
‘I wanted a man with wheels,’ Trix said sulkily.
Kelvin slapped himself around the face a couple of times. ‘No!’ he said cheerfully. ‘I’m awake now and it still doesn’t make sense.’
‘I wanted a man with wheels,’ Trix said angrily. ‘So I met Paul and he delivers fish, and he’s let use the van after work.’
Not surprisingly, the thought of Trix sitting in all her shiny, happy finery alongside a shoal of fish reduced the office to convulsions.
‘I sit up front with the driver,’ she protested, to no avail. ‘Not in the back with all the fish.’
‘What about your other boyfriends?’ Kelvin asked.
‘Kicked them to the kerb.’
Oh, to be as tough as her, Ashling thought, keying furiously. She was inputting her salsa article. As soon as it was all typed, she gave it to Gerry, who scanned in Joy’s sketches and the photos.
‘I’m going to play around with different typefaces and colour,’ he said. ‘Give me some time, then we’ll show it to Lisa. Have faith, I’ll make it purty.’
‘I trust you,’ Ashling promised. Gerry was an oasis of calm, quiet reassurance, who never seemed to panic, no matter how seemingly obscure or difficult the request.
While she waited, she rang Clodagh. ‘You said you wanted to talk to me about something,’ she said anxiously.
‘I do.’ There was the usual background cacophany. ‘Craig’s off sick, and Molly’s banned again from playgroup.’
‘What’s she done now?’
‘Apparently, she tried to set fire to the place. But she’s only a little girl, exploring the world, finding out what matches do. What do they expect?’ Another wave of bawling issued forth. ‘At least she has a spark of curiosity. But I’m losing my fucking reason here, Ashling.’
That’s what I’m afraid of
‘Which is what I want to talk to you about… MOLLY, PUT THAT KNIFE DOWN. DOWN!!! NOW!!! Craig, if Molly hits you, will you for God’s sake HIT HER BACK!!!… You big Jessie,’ Clodagh breathed, in quiet contempt. ‘Got to go, Ashling, I’ll ring later.’
And Clodagh was gone. So Dylan was right, something was up. Ashling swallowed. Feck it, anyway.
Trying to distract herself, she pressed a few buttons on the computer, her fingers eager when she saw she’d been e-mailed. It was a joke sent by Joy. What’s the difference between a hedgehog and a BMW?
‘I’ve a joke for you,’ Ashling called out to the office in general. Instantly all work was abandoned. It didn’t take much. ‘What’s the difference between –’
‘Heard it,’ Jack Devine barked, striding towards his office.
‘You don’t even know what I’m going to say,’ Ashling protested.
‘With a hedgehog the pricks are on the outside.’ Jack slammed his door.
Ashling was astonished. ‘How did he know?’
‘This is the BMW/hedgehog joke?’ Kelvin asked.
When Ashling nodded, Kelvin explained kindly, ‘It’s been doing the rounds the past couple of days. And as Jack drives a Beemer, he’s been told it quite a lot.’
‘Aahhh. I just thought he’d had another scrap with his girl-friend.’
‘Have you any idea the kind of pressure poor Mr Devine is under?’ Behind her desk, Mrs Morley had risen to her feet (although she looked no taller). Her voice was high with protective anger. ‘He was in negotiations with the technicians’ union until ten o’clock on Saturday night. And this morning he has three executives coming from London, including the group accountant,