Taken at the Flood - Agatha Christie [79]
Her mind was made up — quite made up — she told herself and yet she felt a curious reluctance. She looked round her and thought: ‘It’s goodbye to all this — to my own world — my own way of life.’
For she had no illusions. Life with David was a gamble — an adventure that was as likely to turn out badly as to turn out well. He himself had warned her…
The night of the murder, over the telephone.
And now, a few hours ago, he had said:
‘I meant to go out of your life. I was a fool — to think I could leave you behind me. We’ll go to London and be married by special licence — oh, yes, I’m not going to give you the chance of shilly-shallying about. You’ve got roots here, roots that hold you down. I’ve got to pull you up by the roots.’ He had added: ‘We’ll break it to Rowley when you’re actually Mrs David Hunter. Poor devil, it’s the best way to break it to him.’
But to that she did not agree, though she had not said so at the time. No, she must tell Rowley herself.
It was to Rowley she was going now!
The storm was just starting as Lynn tapped at the door of Long Willows. Rowley opened it and looked astonished to see her.
‘Hallo, Lynn, why didn’t you ring up and say you were coming? I might have been out.’
‘I want to talk to you, Rowley.’
He stood aside to let her pass and followed her into the big kitchen. The remains of his supper were on the table.
‘I’m planning to get an Aga or an Esse put in here,’ he said. ‘Easier for you. And a new sink — steel — ’
She interrupted. ‘Don’t make plans, Rowley.’
‘You mean because that poor kid isn’t buried yet? I suppose it does seem rather heartless. But she never struck me as a particularly happy person. Sickly, I suppose. Never got over that damned air raid. Anyway, there it is. She’s dead and in her grave and oh the difference to me — or rather to us — ’
Lynn caught her breath.
‘No, Rowley. There isn’t any “us”. That’s what I came to tell you.’
He stared at her. She said quietly, hating herself, but steadfast in her purpose:
‘I’m going to marry David Hunter, Rowley.’
She did not know quite what she expected — protests, perhaps an angry outburst — but she certainly did not expect Rowley to take it as he did.
He stared at her for a minute or two, then he went across and poked at the stove, turning at last in an almost absentminded manner.
‘Well,’ he said, ‘let’s get it clear. You’re going to marry David Hunter. Why?’
‘Because I love him.’
‘You love me.’
‘No. I did love you — when I went away. But it’s been four years and I’ve — I’ve changed. We’ve both changed.’
‘You’re wrong…’ he said quietly. ‘I haven’t changed.’
‘Well, perhaps you haven’t changed so much.’
‘I haven’t changed at all. I haven’t had much chance to change. I’ve just gone plodding on here. I haven’t dropped from parachutes or swarmed up cliffs by night or wound an arm round a man in the darkness and stabbed him — ’
‘Rowley — ’
‘I haven’t been to the war. I haven’t fought. I don’t know what war is! I’ve led a nice safe life here, down on the farm. Lucky Rowley! But as a husband, you’d be ashamed of me!’
‘No, Rowley — oh, no! It isn’t that at all.’
‘But I tell you it is!’ He came nearer to her. The blood was welling up in his neck, the veins of his forehead were starting out. That look in his eyes — she had seen it once as she passed a bull in a field. Tossing its head, stamping its foot, slowly lowering its head with the great horns. Goaded to a dull fury, a blind rage…
‘Be quiet, Lynn, you’ll listen to me for a change. I’ve missed what I ought to have had. I’ve missed my chance of fighting for my country. I’ve seen my best friend go and be killed. I’ve seen my girl — my girl — dress up in uniform and go overseas. I’ve been Just the Man She Left Behind Her. My life’s been hell — don’t you understand, Lynn? It’s been hell. And then you came back — and since then it’s been worse hell. Ever since that night at Aunt Kathie’s when I saw you looking at David Hunter across the table. But he’s not going to have you, do you hear? If you’re not for me, then no one shall have you. What do you think I