Tears of the Moon - Di Morrissey [157]
‘No, not exactly,’ he cut in, paused then started awkwardly. ‘It’s about Amy … ’
Olivia’s face set and her lips tightened.
Tyndall plunged on. ‘She’s dead.’
Olivia stared at him in shock, her lips parted, but unable to speak.
‘I wanted to tell you in person.’
‘What happened?’ whispered Olivia.
‘Murdered. In the Straits of Malacca, by pirates.’
‘How horrible, John. What was she doing there?’
‘She was with Karl Gunther. Ran off with him. He was killed too. I was sick. I’d been wrecked—lost the Shamrock—Ahmed found me. While I was out of it, she took over caring for me. I nearly died in the process, an accident … I think.’
‘I knew that, but I can’t believe all this. Why didn’t someone contact me … ?’
‘I haven’t finished. She got into the safe and took most of the season’s pearls. We’ve picked up a few more, but she took the best ones. Good haul it was. I’m sorry, Olivia.’
‘I’m sorry too, John. For everything. What a shock.’
‘There is one good thing to come out of this. I’m a free man. So my first thought was to come to you. I’ve never stopped loving you, Olivia, and I have been utterly faithful to you. I knew you were hurt … the whole thing with Amy was painful and embarrassing. I don’t want to rehash it all. But I hoped we could start afresh. And now I find out … that you … ’ He couldn’t go on.
Olivia turned away from him, tears in her eyes, her thoughts jumbled, a wild desire to scream welling in her chest. She took two long, deep breaths and turned back to Tyndall, wincing at his hurt and accusative blue eyes. ‘Yes, I was deeply hurt. And humiliated. Gilbert is a good and kind man. We worked closely together and he was a great comfort. I was lonely … ’
‘So was I, dammit, Olivia! I never went near Amy. I swore to you I would sort things out. Why didn’t you wait for me, Olivia?’
‘Please stop shouting, John. Don’t forget the circumstances, and how hopeless it looked. You lied to me, Amy was not about to let go of you. What was I supposed to do?’ Her voice rose. ‘I chose to get on with my life. I have a son to think about.’
Tyndall was glaring at her and although he lowered his voice, it was filled with seething anger and bewildered pain. ‘Why didn’t you at least tell me you were thinking of marrying? Given me a chance?’
‘What good would that have done? You couldn’t do anything about it.’
‘I might have been able to change your mind.’
‘I couldn’t take that chance,’ said Olivia in a tired, resigned voice. ‘It all happened rather quickly … it seemed the right and logical thing to do. Gilbert proposed, I agreed and we had a small wedding, a few days’ honeymoon and back to work. I’m finding the work with Shaw House very rewarding.’ Her voice trailed off and they stared at each other for a moment.
‘You still love me, don’t you, Olivia?’ he said quietly.
She didn’t answer for a moment and closed her eyes in pain. ‘John, I have a new life. I owe Gilbert a great deal. He has helped me enormously and I owe him that loyalty.’
‘What about the loyalty you owe me? We were going to spend the rest of our lives together. You’re punishing me for something that wasn’t my fault.’
‘Please, John, let’s not go over things that can’t be changed. It’s all too late.’ She drew a deep breath. ‘I will always be your friend, we have a responsibility together for Star of the Sea, but it can’t be more than that. Not any more.’ She turned away, knowing her last words had given her away.
He walked slowly to her and sat down on a small bentwood chair by her desk, reaching for her hand. At the touch of his fingers she pulled her hand away.
‘Olivia, we only get one chance at real happiness in this world.’
‘John … I beg you. I can change nothing. You know me, I must do what is right. And it’s right that I stay beside Gilbert and carry out the work we’ve started. It is a great satisfaction to help these girls … ’
“What about me?’
She looked at him, her heart constricting at the love in his eyes, the hopelessness on his face. ‘I don’t know what to say … ’
‘I can’t